Making a Person

{heavy sigh}

2009-05-20T16:23:00.003-05:00

I'm not sure what started turning the gears in my brain in this direction earlier today, but I am putting some serious thought into shutting down this blog.

One of the main reasons is that I am tired of having an anonymous blog that I shield from friends and family. I have never wanted to "go public" with it, for fear that maybe I have said something offensive that could be hurtful to someone along the way. I'm not sure who I have complained about or if I have shared any innermost thoughts that I just don't want "out there". I am also not very proud of the way I used to gripe and complain about the friend of mine whose boy I used to babysit before I had Scout. When I read a lot of my posts from back then, they were all so negative. I am so so so far from being perfect, but I must say that I feel I have progressed as a person and as a believer in Christ. I feel like the things I write now and the things that are on my mind now, I could share with anyone in my "real" life or otherwise and not be ashamed because I am not backbiting or talebearing or unloading a bunch of negativity. Life is not all sunshine and roses, but I am learning to guard my tongue and I am learning that we shape a lot of our lives by the words we speak. (some verses from James would fit nicely right about here)

A friend of mine who recently closed her blog said it best - "this though, just isn't me anymore". That's how I feel about this blog. I want to have it to cherish for my own records. I want it for its baby book and pregnancy diary-like qualities, but I no longer want it floating around in cyberspace for all the world to see.

Another reason I think it's wise to retire this space is because I am tired of posting the same stories and same sets of pictures twice. I keep in touch with friends and family through social networking sites and these days, I find myself posting the same things here that I do there. It's redundant and wastes time.

I have met a lot of really great people through this blog and I am still going to keep my profile so I can comment and keep up with other blogs. (okay, so I am bad about keeping up with your blogs sometimes...I admit it) Please email me (makingaperson at yahoo dot com) if you would like to keep in contact.

I'm not sure when I'm going to pull the plug - I'll probably wait until I can talk to my sweet computer genius of a husband about making sure that all of my archives are backed up and saved and secure. I don't want to lose a single thing.

Wheels

2009-05-20T09:18:00.004-05:00

And now for a few pics of my daughter roller skating...
(okay, so she's on the ground in most of them, but I promise she doesn't really fall that much...she was just getting tired :)

I have such a big girl now!

{Ggggrrrrrrr}

2009-05-20T08:49:00.003-05:00

I went to the dentist yesterday for the first time in....get this....THREE YEARS. Oops. I know. I'm terrible. A lot of that has to do with the fact that DH didn't have any dental insurance for a long time. And some of it just has to do with procrastination. I didn't have any cavities, but apparently the grinding I am doing in my sleep (and I am finding out I do it while I'm conscious as well) is wreaking havoc on my teeth. I have worn down enamal, chipped an existing filling, and created a hairline fracture on the back of a molar. My front teeth are suffering too. There are actual indentations on the back of my front teeth from my bottom ones grinding away at them (I have a slight overbite). I didn't realize how worn down my teeth are getting! And since that appointment, I have realized that I almost CONSTANTLY shift my jaw and sort of clack and grind my teeth to drumbeats...either to a song I'm listening to or I'm making up a beat in my head. I was aware that I'm a nighttime grinder, but I had NO IDEA that I was grinding during the day until I started paying attention. So far this morning, I have caught myself doing it 5 times and it's not even 9:00. And then I really had to make a conscious effort not to after I noticed what I was doing. {sigh} I've got to put an end to it! The dentist wants me to get a splint to wear at night. He had suggested this 3 years ago, but we didn't have the money and I didn't realize how important it was. The splint will be over $700, but our insurance may cover some of it. I would rather pretend that I don't need one. That is a lot of money! But the dentist said it would probably prevent a lot of future fractures, chips, enamel errosion, and the need for expensive crowns when I'm older. I wonder if he's just trying to sell me a splint. Yeah, that's it. It's a sales trick and I don't really need one. I'll just keep telling myself that. Anyone else out there a grinder with any advice? It just makes me wonder why I have such a destructive tick...I am not a high strung stressed out person most of the time. Maybe the grinding releases all the tention and that's why I'm so laid back. Maybe I have some pent up aggression I don't know about. Meh. Probably not. Maybe I just like to play cadences with my teeth.

Okay, so that's more than you ever wanted to know about my teeth. I have no idea why I posted all about this. :)

Dinner Time

2009-05-16T12:37:00.002-05:00

What can I say? We act pretty goofy at the dinner table.
Scout loves to look at pictures and videos on DH's iPhone. Here, he is showing her a photo that was taken when we were crazy herb-lovin' hippies living in a camper in the woods with no running water. Scary, indeed.

Not so separate

2009-05-15T09:25:00.006-05:00

Lookie there...I made a watermark for my pictures! I'm not exactly sure why - I can't really see why anyone would want to steal my pics, but I figure it won't hurt. You just never know about the web. Okay, so the real reason is I found a tutorial on how to make a watermark action in Photoshop and wanted to try it out.

I was thinking maybe I should start a separate blog about my interest in photography, because it seems that subject has taken over this blog (which is supposed to be about parenting). But on second thought, maybe not. I suppose my interest in photography is just a facet of my being a parent. It gives me a way to be creative while still wearing my mommy hat. I can set up my tripod and take shots of the roses that grow in our side yard while Scout is playing (translates: while Scout is trying to climb said tripod and whining, "Mommy, hold you!"). I can take trillions of shots of my kid from all different angles and all times of day in different light as a way of learning what works. I can definitely see why so many moms end up in photography. When you become a parent, sometimes it feels like you lose a little bit of yourself. Sometimes it feels like a big bite has been taken out of your creativity and personality. Photography is helping me to get those things back. It is challenging and seems that is something you never can "attain". My guess is that you never arrive at the top of the mountain. I'm sure even very seasoned photographers feel like they have a lot to learn. I enjoy a challenge like that.

Ho hum.

2009-05-11T14:31:00.002-05:00

I will be glad when I finally get to the point where I don't have to edit my photos to death in Photoshop to make them look halfway decent. Seriously, people - I am murdering them. A lot of the shots I took of my pregnant friend ended up having serious color and shadow issues...the grass reflected green all over her skin and I had my white balance set wrong for half of the pictures. That, and well...I am a beginner, and it really shows. I'm looking through my folder of the pics I have edited from that day and I'm realizing that they all look completely over processed. I like the look of portraits that haven't been all air brushed and doctored up. I like things that look REAL. (well, for the most part - I definitely think there's a time and place for extreme and creative editing, for sure) I am just disappointed that I have had to do so much to these pictures to cover my mistakes. The good thing is, my friend seems to like them, or at least she is doing a good job at humoring me. I can't wait to take some more in an attempt to redeem myself. Or maybe just because it's a bit addictive and I really enjoy it.

What's new?

2009-05-08T13:47:00.003-05:00

Well, I'm trying to keep myself off this dog gone computer more often these days, but it's tough. I left an online mom's group that I've been a part of for almost 2 years because I felt the Lord tugging at my heart, telling me that I needed to let it go. It was hard to do because I have made so many great friendships through that board, but I knew I had to do it. I couldn't ignore that Voice. It's funny though, it seems that I have found other things on my computer to take up the time I would be spending on the message board. I don't think that's what the Father had in mind when He told me to give up the message board...but I'm trying. I really am. I have been in His Word more often lately and it is wonderful. I am purposing in my heart to have a grateful attitude and be filled with the Joy of the Lord.

Most of my time on the computer is spent editing photos in Photoshop. I am learning so much and really do enjoy it. Although I know I probably still spend too much time at my computer desk, I suppose I can justify it because I am actually (slowly but surely) learning a valuable skill. I need to start setting a timer or something, though. If I let myself, I will spend Scout's entire nap and every free moment I have messing with my camera, taking pics, reading tutorials, and editing photos. If you don't believe me, just look at my kitchen.

I got to do my first photo shoot (and I use that term loosely - I don't want to give anyone the impression that I think I'm a real professional) for a friend yesterday and it was so much fun!! She is pregnant with her first baby and I offered to take some maternity shots for her, just for my own practice. I told her if she likes any of them, great - she can get them printed wherever - but I warned her not to get her expectations too high. I am proud of the way a few of them turned out, but most of them STINK. I was battling harsh sun and shadows because we were late getting started. We were shooting for early morning, but that didn't happen. We're going to try to get together again tomorrow evening to finish up the shoot and take some pics with her hubby. I hope those turn out better. I must say that it was very different taking pictures of someone other than a hyper and squirmy 2-year-old. I loved it.

You can see a few of the pics I took HERE. I'm still working on editing them, but I hope to have more posted soon.

Take care, all.

Oh, and if you see me around - yell at me and tell me to get my sorry butt off the dang computer!!! :)

Happy Girl

2009-05-01T17:00:00.004-05:00

Scout has been in a super great mood for the past few days. I hope the trend continues. She is constantly singing and talking to herself and I just love listening to her. She sings a song that she either made up or heard somewhere (although, I have no clue where it would have come from) in which she says, "I know what to do" over and over in a cheerful and melodic voice. She is really into picking up her toys now and only needs a little prompting with the "clean up song" (Is that from Barney? Somehow, I ....and probably every parent...knows the words but don't remember where I learned it). She sings, "Keeg up, Keeg up, E'r body, E'r body" as she tosses toys into a bin or bag.

I love it when my sweet little girl is happy.

Bad Granddaughter

2009-04-29T14:34:00.004-05:00

I just talked to my (paternal) grandma for the first time in 9 years. Actually, I think it's the first time I have EVER talked to her on the phone....well, not since I was a little kid. The last time I saw her was when I went down South to visit her with my dad and sister when I was 19(?). And who knows how many years before that it had been since I had seen or spoken to her? That is so pathetic. I am ashamed of myself. Since I was very young (maybe 6 or 7), she has lived across the country from me and we haven't kept in touch very well. Now I live in the state that borders hers, but I'm still 13 hours from her.

Why don't we call one another? I have no idea. We have written a few letters to each other over the years and sometimes she sends birthday and Christmas cards. Every now and then I mail her a handful of photos of Scout. But other than that? No contact. Until today, I hadn't really thought about how absolutely sad and strange it is. It's just always been that way, so I've never questioned it or tried to change it. I grew up close to my mom's parents. They were like my second set of parents when I was little - my sis and I were constantly over at their house and I still talk with that grandmother often. We were just never that close to my dad's family. I suppose I'll never understand why. I don't think my mom liked my dad's family for whatever reason. My dad's dad passed away before I was born, so I never met him. Even when my dad's mom lived near us when I was very little, I don't remember having a close relationship with her.

But you know what's even weirder than all of that? I have never once doubted her love for me. When I grew out of my "partying" phase and ended up having a close relationship with God, I learned from my aunt that my grandma prayed for me EVERY DAY. She prayed that I would come to know the Lord and give my heart to him. I don't think she knew that I was into drugs, but she knew I wasn't in church and that I smoked and drank. When she found out that I had rededicated my heart to Jesus and was back in church, she wrote me a letter expressing her joy and gratitude to God. "Isn't living for the Lord so wonderful? There's nothing in the world like it.", she said.

She was and still is a prayer warrior for our family. She is so quiet and meek, but she knows what's going on around her and she prays fervently and reads the Bible like there's no tomorrow. I do have a few memories of going to visit her and her coming to visit us when I was growing up. Almost all of those memories involve her quietly retreating to her bedroom early in the evening to read her bible and pray before she went to sleep. Oh yeah, and she drinks a lot of tea. I remember that too.

She's either almost 90 or in her early 90's (how sad that I don't even know how old she is) and her health is not good right now. She's in the hospital and I heard from my aunt (my dad's older sister) on Facebook that she has dangerously low blood pressure, is just getting over the flu, and might be going into kidney failure. (My dad is also very bad about keeping in touch with her AND with me....so yeah, I didn't get the info from him) My aunt included the number to the direct line in my grandma's hospital room in the Facebook message, so I called.

I was nervous and my stomach hurt. What do I say to a 90 year old woman I haven't spoken to in 10 years? Will she even know it's me? Guilt for not calling her over the years overwhelmed me and I wondered how I would address that fact. "Gee, grandma...sorry that I've waited until your health is failing to finally call you" Uuugh. What a rotten turd I am.

She knew exactly who I was the moment I said my name. Excitement filled her voice as she said, "I'm so glad you called!!" She asked how "the baby" was and we chatted about Scout for a while. She then told me that she is sick and in the hospital (I guess she was forgetting that I called her hospital room). We mainly made small talk, but with every topic, she had something to say about how wonderful our Lord is. We talked about my sister and my dad and my aunts. We talked about the current Swine Flu scare. (My aunt who lives with her had to get tested for it because she has the flu right now - they still haven't gotten the results back, but she said she is feeling better today and the docs said if it was the Swine Flu, she wouldn't be improving so soon)

I told her how sorry I was that I hadn't called her before now. She held no grudge and took some of the blame for not keeping in contact herself. And she said, "It sure is nice to be talking with you right now, though!" She told me over and over that she loves me and prays for me all the time. We talked about how nice it would be to visit each other and to see our family up North. Then she excitedly said, "But we'll all be together in Heaven someday! How wonderful that will be!"

She said "God Bless you" and "I love you" before we hung up. And then I broke down and cried after I got off the phone. I guess they were tears of gratitude and tears of regret....some tears of joy too.

Funny Face

2009-04-27T14:56:00.005-05:00

My parents have been visiting for the last 2 weeks and just left to go back North early this morning. I was sad to see them go, knowing I probably won't see them again until October. We had a fun visit though, and they got to see the fun little girl that Scout has become.

Here are a few pics of Scout acting goofy while my mom was fixing her hair in the bathroom. These were taken on Scout's actual birthday.

Scout's been sick for the last week. She had a fever for a few days that hovered around 101-102 and now has runny nose and chest congestion. She seems to be getting better, though. I hated that she was sooooo cranky and irritable and not her normal self during the last part of my parents' visit, but at least they got to see her happy side the first week they were here.

I am in the process of uploading pics of our yard. Having a fence, swing set, and sand/water table for Scout is so AWESOME! Even though she wasn't feeling well this past week, she has still gotten to play outside some and she really loves it. It's so funny - every time she rides in her new toddler swing, she goes into a relaxed trance and falls asleep. I'm not sure if it's because she wasn't feeling well or if it's just because the swinging motion relaxes her so much. If it ends up having that effect on her all the time, I'll know what to do if she's being an uncooperative stinker - just stick her in the swing! LOL :)

Pics of Scout's 2nd Birthday Party

2009-04-23T13:18:00.003-05:00

Some of these photos are "saves"...meaning, I took a crappy picture and tried to rescue it in Photoshop....meaning, I probably just made them worse. Meh. Oh well. I've recently noticed that my pics look more cooler (more blue-ish) on DH's computer, so how my pics turn out after I've edited them largely depends on which machine I used. I guess I need to do something about that.

Scout enjoying her new train table:

She ate like 4 pieces of pizza - no joke!

I had my mom try to take a good pic of me with Scout with my camera on auto mode. Scout was having a meltdown. Uugh.

The cake table:

Treat bags:

Scout checking out her cake:

Make a wish!

2009-04-20T18:07:00.002-05:00

I have lots of pics from Scout's birthday that I still need to upload. For now, here's a video...

Bye bye, baby years.

2009-04-19T23:44:00.000-05:00

Scout, it is 11:30 PM and your 2nd birthday is almost over. I wasn't really emotional about it until just now. I've known since you were tiny that time was going to fly and that what everyone says about kids growing up in the blink of an eye is completely true.....but I think right now in this moment, I really GET it and it's sort of a punch in the gut. You're not a baby at all anymore. {sigh}

I have no idea when we're ever going to have another baby and I have to admit that I am sort of longing for a little playmate for you, especially now that I am realizing how incredibly fast you are growing up. I'd be lying if I said I don't have a touch of "baby fever" right about now. But you must know that if Daddy and I never ever have another baby again, I would be content because you are my daughter and that is enough. I would be thankful and honored just to know that I got to spend every day of your babyhood with you. And now I get to spend every day of your toddlerhood with you, watching you become a wonderful person.

I love you!!

Cake Cake Cake

2009-04-18T09:08:00.003-05:00

Yesterday, I was quite the baker. I made 24 Cookie Monster cupcakes and a Big Bird cake from a 70's Wilton pan my MIL found in her storage building. I am really not expecting a lot of people for Scout's party this evening, so I guess everyone is going to get to take home a cupcake...or two...or three. Hee hee :)

I got the idea and inspiration for the cupcakes from The Scrampin' Mama and Made by Cynthia Rae. Hope they don't mind.

Up and Down

2009-04-17T14:06:00.003-05:00

Our new fence is going up...

Our old (and damaged from January's ice storm) tree is coming down...

You know what they say....

2009-04-13T07:54:00.004-05:00

..."Practice makes funny Easter cakes". What, that's not the saying? I have soooooooooo much to do, and here I sit, uploading pics of the Easter cake I made. Okay, so it is a little bit wreck-tastic. There is a huge unexplained space between "Jesus is" and "Alive"(which is randomly capitalized). And the sun rays look a little (ummm...A LOT) like thin squiggles of ketchup and mustard all over the cake. Oh well. It was fun. I was practicing for the Big Bird cake I'll be making later this week. I learned how to get the buttercream just the right consistency (It was too thick when I iced the whole cake orange, so I thinned the rest of the icing down a bit).

I didn't get a great shot of the cake from above, so you'll just have to piece this hodgepodge of shots together in your mind...

We were invited to some friends' house yesterday for Easter dinner. We had grilled steak and smoked sausage, baked beans, potato salad, and a ton of other yummy stuff. The billions of kids that were there had an egg hunt (indoors - it was pouring the rain!!) and Scout seemed to have a good time, even though she was way overdue for a nap at that point.

I'll make sure I get some pics of Scout with her Easter basket on here later.

More than you ever wanted to know about my daughter's poop.

2009-04-10T23:11:00.005-05:00

Tonight, my daughter went and sat down on her potty chair and pooped all by herself!!! She has pooped on the potty once before, but that was when my friend took her to the bathroom at church like a month ago. She hasn't done it since then.

Okay, the whole ordeal wasn't as peaceful and joyous as that first sentence lets on. Here's how it really went:

After we got home from grocery shopping this evening, we were all standing in the kitchen and I noticed Scout doing her I'm-pooping-in-my-diaper pose (She braces herself against something and sticks her butt out. LOL) She started crying and was pushing really hard. I explained to Matt that she's been having super hard poops and having a tough time getting them out so that's why she was crying. We both tried and tried to convince her that it would probably be easier and hurt less if she went and sat on the potty. Oh, man. She would get absolutely spitting mad at the very suggestion and start screaming harder than she already was every time we said the word "potty".

She seemed like she was in so much agony, that we finally took her to the potty against her will. You would have thought we were dragging her to a pit of molten hot lava with the intentions of throwing her in. She was a giant ball of flailing muscle and was beyond upset. I can't remember what finally calmed her down, but after a few minutes of us trying to sit her on the potty, she finally sat there peaceably and read a book and looked at a magazine. She even grunted a few times, but nothing came out and she got up and ran around the house naked.

About 15-20 minutes later, I was cooking dinner and DH was in his office on the phone. Scout came into the kitchen and was very whiny and upset and was saying "hold you, mommy!" (what she says when she wants to be held). I was in the middle of doing something, so I said, "Just a second, honey." By the time I got my hands wiped off and was about to bend down to pick her up, there were tears in her eyes and she was crying at the top of her lungs, "Pee-pee da POTTY!!!!" and then she bolted (she ran faster than I've ever seen her run!) to the bathroom. I was a few steps behind her. I didn't want to crowd her or make her nervous, so I stood in the hallway and could hear her grunting and crying. She got up and ran to me and happily said, "I POOP!!!" I went in and sure enough, there it was, in her potty chair....and lets just say, there's no wonder why the poor little girl was in pain trying to get that thing out!!

I was so proud of her!!!! I know she just did it out of pure desperation, but I'm still impressed that she made it there and got it in the potty all by herself. I clapped and cheered and told her that after dinner, we could go to the store and she could pick out a prize.

DH missed the whole thing because he was talking to an old friend he hadn't talked to in forever and had the door shut to his office. He was peeved that I didn't take a picture of the...uh...specimen, nor did I save it for him to look at. Believe me, I would have. Except that Scout is now adept at door knobs and kept going in the bathroom, pointing (dangerously close) to the poop and saying "Uh-oh!" and "Look!". Lately she's been loving to take the bowl out of her potty chair after she has peed (Seems if she is too lazy to climb the big toilet, she'll sit on the potty chair now) and pour it into the toilet and then hands it to me to wash. I know, she's a weird kid. So I knew what her intentions were when I saw her reaching to take the potty seat off. I didn't particularly want her slinging poop around, so I flushed it myself. I was trying to do all of this in the middle of cooking dinner (don't worry, lots of soap and burn-your-flesh-off hot water were used between running from the bathroom to the kitchen). Still, I think DH was disappointed that he didn't get to see the fruits of her labor :)

Now, I just need to alleviate her hard poopy issue. She drinks lots of water and juice throughout the day. She eats raisins like there is no tomorrow, she eats whole grain bread, fruits, and she's even pretty good about eating her vegetables! Maybe I need to get her some prunes? Poor thing.

Oh,well in that case...

2009-04-07T11:06:00.004-05:00

Scout: holding her little play broom high up in the air, recklessly banging into things, being a danger to herself, the dog, and the nearby kitchen window

Me: Can you please keep the broom on the floor? You might break something!

Scout: (looking and pointing up) I sweepin' the air!

Current Events

2009-04-06T18:06:00.004-05:00

Some randomness...

-- Scout sings everything to the tune of the alphabet song/baa baa black sheep/twinkle twinkle little star. Imagine her singing whatever word pops into her head or maybe something she sees over and over again to that tune. That's what she does.

-- When she's eating something REALLY yummy that she loves, (ie. a peanut butter granola bar, bacon, or chocolate)she savors it. She takes tiny bites and will hold the last bite in her hand for a half hour or more. She will lick that last bite FOREVER until we make her eat it.

-- We are going through a lot less diapers now that she pretty much spends all day nekkid and pees in the potty frequently. It recently took us nearly 3 weeks to go through an 82 count package of diapers. However, our poor carpet catches all the accidents since she refuses to wear her little training panties. She still wears diapers when we are out and about.

Sunny Days

2009-04-05T15:45:00.005-05:00

For a while, Scout was really into Sesame Street and Big Bird was her favorite character, so I was thinking she would get a kick out of a Big Bird cake and Sesame Street themed decorations for her birthday. I know she will still like it, but she actually hasn't been watching Sesame Street as much these days and is more interested in Yo Gabba Gabba. Oh well. It's too late now, because I've already bought some of the party decorations and MIL found a Big Bird cake pan in her storage unit that is perfect. Still, I am lusting over the idea of a Yo Gabba Gabba themed party. Now THAT would be fun to plan! Maybe she will still be into it when she turns 3? Who knows.

Back to Sesame Street...I really like the "Sesame Smiles" party stuff because it's very simple looking, with just close-ups of the character's faces...but it is discontinued and difficult to find. Of course. It's easy to find Elmo decorations, but I wanted to include all the classic characters too.

But I did manage to score some inexpensive Sesame Smiles stuff on eBay and I'll just add some solid-colored decorations to it. I got some treat bags, Big Bird plates, Zoe napkins, Elmo hats, the invitations, stickers, and a banner. I REALLY want the little paper cups with Oscar's face on them, but the vendors on eBay know that they're rare and want $9.99 + shipping for a package of 8 cups. Tiny paper cups....that will get thrown away in the trash. Ummm...no, thank you. I could totally make my own with some plain green paper cups and a little bit of construction paper. But will I go to all that trouble for some cups that will get thrown out? Meh. Probably not. And the Snuffy blow outs? I want some but they are nowhere to be found.

It'll all be cute anyway. I hope the Big Bird cake doesn't end up a total Cake Wreck, though. I'm not all that experienced with cake decorating and I don't think I want to put the time, money, and energy into a practice cake, so it's going to be a real crap shoot. Will I end up completely screwing up Scout's cake? I don't know. Stay tuned to find out. LOL :) I don't know why I am so dead set on making Scout's cake myself. Maybe because I think it will just be a fun tradition to start. Maybe because when I was browsing through Big Bird cakes on Flickr, I stumbled across this bakery-made "Big Bird" cake and decided if Scout's cake was going to wrecked, it was going to be by me, not some grocery store bakery person. My super talented cake decorating friend, who made Scout's cake last year, is due to have her 3rd baby right around the same time of Scout's party, so I definitely don't want to ask her to make the cake this year. She is so nice, she would probably say yes!

Have I ever mentioned that I love planning parties?

Hello There

2009-04-01T00:11:00.005-05:00

I know I've been away. I know I am a lazy blogger. Please forgive me. I recently took a week long break from the internet. I didn't even so much as check my e-mail until the last couple days of my internet fast. I needed some downtime and a little bit of perspective, since I tend to be an all-or-nothing type of gal.

So, what's new? Scout is a fit-thrower. Oh my, oh my. This little girl can throw tantrums of epic proportions. It's a good thing she is agreeable at least some of the time because if she wasn't, my head would explode.

I am planning her 2nd birthday party. I cannot believe it. How have 2 years flown by like this?

My parents and grandma will be here in a few weeks to visit and help us celebrate Scout's birthday. We are getting a brand new vinyl coated chain link fence around our yard and swing set for Scout, courtesy of my mommy while they are here. I know - I am so spoiled!

Hold Still

2009-03-18T17:37:00.004-05:00

Am I a totally bad mommy if I say that I get kind of tired of Scout being the subject of all my photographs? I know the answer to that is 'no', but it still feels weird to say that I'm sick of taking her picture. Roughly 73% of all the shots I take are of the side or back of her head. Okay, I just pulled that figure out of my rear, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was accurate. As beautiful as she is, she's too darn fast and will NEVER sit still for the camera. So, I've been more attracted to inanimate objects lately.

I used the Pioneer Woman's 70's Action on the above photograph because I liked the way it gave the sky a turquoise look. I like the tree because it appears to be falling apart before your very eyes, but it's really just a little weary and torn up from January's ice storm.

This wall is a stone's throw from my yard. It's part of an OLD warehouse that now contains HVAC supplies. I love that it has so much potential as a portrait background.

Been Away

2009-03-12T21:46:00.003-05:00

Sorry I've been missing. DH and I have been in the Washington DC area since Monday for some job training he had to do. Our hotel's internet has been sketchy, at best. And I think I had neglected my blog for a while even before our trip...yeah, I have no excuse for that. This trip has been different that the other business trips I've been on with DH. I actually KNOW people here! I have been part of a mommy message board for about a year and a half (maybe longer?) and have gotten to know some really awesome ladies as a result. I was able to meet up with 2 of them this week and it was so much fun! I love having friends all over the country.

Our flight leaves tomorrow at 1:40 or so. We didn't get to do much Washington D.C. touristy type stuff while we were here, but that is fine with me. I am not a fan of big city traffic and I suck at parking. Our hotel isn't in the immediate downtown DC area, so it wasn't like I could just hop on a train or something. I'm sure I could have figured out some sort of public transportation for a day adventure while DH was in training, but honestly, Scout and I have been just as happy chillin' close to the hotel. We ate dinner with some friends Tuesday night, Scout and I hung out with a couple of my online mommy friends on Wednesday during the day and did dinner at a yummy seafood place with one of them, and then today (Thurs) we went to a huge mall and rode on the carousel and choo choo train. After DH was done with his class, we went to downtown DC and just did a little bit of drive-by sight seeing in some CRAZY traffic and then ate at Ben's Chili Bowl. When we got back to the hotel, DH went to the nearby Dunkin' Donuts to get us a little dessert. We both decided that we've never had donuts from any Dunkin' Donuts location that were at all impressive. Maybe it's because we are Krispy Kreme fans and think that anything less than donut perfection is just not worth it. The donuts we got from there tonight were dry and not very good. But their coffee?? Is awesome. Put Dunkin' Donuts coffee together with Krispy Kreme's donuts and I'd be in heaven.

So...you wanna see pics from our trip? I thought you'd never ask! I didn't end up bringing my fancy new DSLR camera because I was too paranoid about travelng with it. I figured that I'd have enough to keep track of with Scout and our laptops and my purse. In a way, I sort of regret not bringing it because all the stuff we had to carry was actually pretty manageable, but I know I would have been a nervous wreck about keeping it safe.

Scout and DH eating an overpriced airport muffin:

Scout doesn't remember flying on a plane when she was 8 months old, so she thought she'd brush up on her flight safety rules:

She loved the giant bear outside Ben's Chili Bowl. We had to pry her away from it.

A drive-by shot of the Washington Monument:

Scout romping around at the Dulles Towne Center play area:

So, there you have it. That's where's I've been :)

Bla bla bla sheep...

2009-03-02T23:42:00.003-06:00

...Bla bla bla
Yeah sha, yeah sha
Bla bla bla

That's Scout's rendition of "Baa Baa, Black Sheep". She is a hoot. DH and I are constantly cracking up because of the hilarious things she says.

Last night we were all relaxing and playing on the couch and I took a billion shots of my two favorite people in the whole world. Low light, a toddler who won't sit still, and someone who hates to use a flash (me!) makes for some not-so-stellar photos. But I really do like this one. It makes my heart melt.

Slacker.

2009-02-27T16:25:00.003-06:00

I meant to go out in the garage and change the burnt out headlight on my van while Scout was down for her nap today. I got pulled over for it the other day and I really need to get that done. Instead? I messed around with my camera and edited some pics on the computer. There is an open suitcase on my bedroom floor that is overflowing with wrinkled clean (and maybe a few dirty) clothes leftover from FOUR WEEKS AGO, when we had the big ice storm and stayed away from home for a couple nights. Oh, the shame.

And yesterday, Scout and I went to the mall to eat lunch and play in the toddler area. Another productive day. Ha! But seriously, we've been having a blast building with blocks, chasing the dog around the house with a doll stroller, going on adventures around the neighborhood, and reading books. I feel good about that. There are some days when I don't feel so bad about not doing a lick of housework.

Love it.

2009-02-26T00:46:00.002-06:00

Scout, I love it when you...

-say you're sorry (unprompted) after you've accidentally hit or kicked me.

-pretend to be Cookie Monster.

-say that your pigtails are "pretty-ful"

-talk expressively in an unknown language, while using your hands.

-kiss my boo-boos

-hold my hand

-yell at the dog

-call squirrels "tails"

-wake up in the morning and come to my bed and nurse for 20 minutes.

Some Potty Progress

2009-02-23T14:03:00.003-06:00

Today, Scout brought me a little stuffed dog and told me that it needed to go poop. I excitedly said, "Well, you'd better take him to the potty!" So, we went to her little potty and she put the dog on it (or inside it, rather) and we both made grunting and farting sounds...you know, simulating the doggy going poop. Then, satisfied that the doggy was done doing his business, she moved the dog and sat on the potty herself and asked for a book. Whenever I try to get her to go potty, I always hand her a book. (She NEVER EVER pees or poops on the potty, by the way) She proceeded to grunt like she was trying to push something out and then PEE-PEED!!!!! I clapped and told her how awesome it was and hugged her and made a big tadoo about it. Then we went to the cupboard and I got her a little piece of a chocolate bar as a reward. We called DH and told him the great news (although, she kept saying that she had "pooped" in the potty). He reminded me of the one and only other time that she has peed on the potty, about 4 months ago when he had put her on the potty one Saturday or Sunday morning while I was still in bed. She hasn't done it again since, despite all our efforts. She'll sit on the potty for a few seconds - just enough time to read a few pages of a book - and then she's off. Every now and then, she'll grunt or make the "Ppppsssssss" sound, but nothing ever comes out. I just think that she doesn't know how to make herself go. (I'm not counting the times back when she was a tiny infant and she would go poop and pee when we held her over the potty. Since she has become mobile and is actually able to resist sitting on the potty, she has not been at all interested in using it.)

I am hopeful that today was a small step in the direction of learning to use the potty, but I'm not holding my breath. A couple hours after her triumphant pee, I sat her on the potty again. We read a little bit and then she got up, went into the bathroom, and peed all over the floor as she was pushing her step-stool over to the sink.

Oh well.

Snotty Nose

2009-02-21T10:15:00.005-06:00

I have a snotty crusty nose, Mommy. May I have some Kleenex?

I'll just take one, Mommy. I promise.

Or two...or three...or four...

Woohoo!!!! Tissue party!!!

Hey Mommy? My nose is still snotty.

**********

Now for some camera blabber...

I took the above pics w/ my Pentax SMCP-FA 50mm 1.4 prime lens that came in the mail shortly after my zoom did. As you can see, I was still figuring out the whole aperture thing. The depth of field is too shallow in some of the pics...I think I only had the aperture set to like 1.4 on some of them. Duh. So her nose and mouth are focused on that first and last one, but the rest of her face and hair is blurry. Which, I guess looks kinda neat in a way, but not what I was going for.

When I started getting more confident and things started to click in my mind, I took a couple shots that I'm pretty happy with.

First Shots with a DSLR

2009-02-19T13:04:00.003-06:00

One of my lenses came today and I couldn't wait to try my new camera out for the first time. As you can see, my subjects are pretty boring. Scout was sleeping and I was (and still am) in my pajamas, so I just walked around the house. They're not very artistic or anything, but believe me, I was doing good just fumbling with all the fancy-schmancy controls....I wasn't even thinking about composing a cool photo.

These were shot with my FA-J 75-300mm F4.5-5.8AL telephoto lens and are SOOC (straight out of the camera) Obviously, I have A LOT to learn....but it was still fun playing around. There were a couple blurry ones in the mix, but all in all, they looked pretty good (to my untrained newbie eye, anyway).

My very first shot:

Focal Length: 75.0mm
Shutter Speed: 1/90 sec
Aperture: F4.5
Mode: Green (Fully Automatic)
ISO: 400
Focus: Auto

Focal Length: 190.0mm
Shutter Speed: 1/60 sec
Aperture: F5.6
Mode: Aperture-priority (HyP)
ISO:400
Focus: Manual

Focal Length: 75.0mm
Shutter Speed: 1/45 sec
Aperture: F4.5
Mode: Aperture-priority (HyP)
ISO:400
Focus: Manual

Focal Length: 75.0mm
Shutter Speed: 1/45 sec
Aperture: F4.5
Mode: Aperture-priority (HyP)
ISO: 100
Focus: Manual

I *heart* my new camera.

Waiting.....

2009-02-18T10:08:00.002-06:00

So far, I've received the camera, SD card, one of the books, and the bag.

No lenses.

I have been reading and reading the telephone-book-sized (okay, it's not really that big) manual every chance I get. I've torn through a lot of "Understanding Exposure" already. Just getting familiarized with photography terms and how it all works. It's overwhelming, but I think I am actually grasping some of it. The battery is charged and in the camera. The SD card is formatted and ready to go.

Wish I had a lens. Hee hee.

MIL gave me an old Se@rs Pentax lens from the 70's that belonged to her dad. One of the cool things about Pentax is that ALL Pentax K-mount lenses (even the manual ones that are a trillion years old) are compatible with the new DSLR Pentax cameras.

The lens is a little scratched up and pretty dirty. I don't think I want to put it on my camera right now because I don't want to dump 30 years of dust and grime into my camera. I'm sure I could probably try to clean it up, I dunno. It's just that a scratched beat-up lens seems a little pointless when my new ones are in transit right now. I promise I'm not a brat. Really, I'm not. I'm just scared to screw up my new gorgeous pristine camera :)

Well, that was fast.

2009-02-14T13:09:00.006-06:00

So, looks like I'm not going to be camera-free for as long as I thought! I griped to my mom on the phone about our broken camera and I had also mentioned to her that DH called a friend of ours who was selling his Pentax K10D and accessories to express our interest. I told her that I wasn't sure why we were going to look at the camera, because we don't have $900 to throw down on a fancy camera setup like that. It seemed pointless to me. I promise that I was not fishing for her to offer to help us out. It sounds that way when I type it out, but it really didn't go down like that. Anyway, I was just basically venting to her how I was annoyed that our crappy P&S would break right now because it seemed silly to replace it with another P&S, knowing that I'm interested in photography and wanted to get a DSLR sometime in the near future.

When DH talked to our friend and nailed down a day for us to meet up with him and check out his camera, I still wondered why we were even looking at it. DH joked with me and said, "So, have you figured out a way to come up with $900 yet?" Nope. I hadn't. He suggested a loan from my parents. We would pay them $100 a month if that sounded okay to them. I thought it was a good idea, but still felt weird and awkward about asking my mom for a loan of that size for something so frivolous. I called her anyway. Because my mom is awesome, she didn't even hesitate to say "yes", but wanted to talk to my step dad about it first. I had a feeling he wouldn't have a problem with it either. They knew we were good for it.

That evening and the following day, I did a lot of research and price shopping and discovered that I could get everything in the used setup that my friend was offering for $900 for just a little more brand new! I called my mom and let her know that we may not want to buy my friend's camera after all. She said she was glad because she had talked it over with my step dad and they decided that they wanted to buy a brand new camera and accessories for me AS A GIFT! My mom had received some inheritance money from my great aunt who never had any children of her own. She was made executor of her estate and said that she'd be getting the rest of the inheritance money in June, at which point she had planned on buying my sister and I each a big expensive gift. Until now, she didn't know what I would want my gift to be, so she was excited to find out I am so passionate about learning more about photography. She said if I could hold out until June, she would buy me a DSLR camera and everything I need to get started with photography. I can't tell you how excited I was! I hope my great aunt is looking down on this and is pleased that her money is being used for something that is an investment in my future. I know it will take me a while to sharpen my skills and become a good photographer, but I have high hopes that I may even get to make a little money at it someday. That's certainly not why I want to get into photography, but if I end up loving it as much as I think I am going to, it would be awesome to turn it into a profession. Maybe I'm getting a little ahead of myself, here. :)

I was prepared to wait until June to go camera shopping, but have really been missing having a camera at my disposal right now. I take shots of Scout almost every day and not being able to do that is driving me nuts!! So, in steps my very generous MIL who agreed to loan us the money for the camera right now, knowing that we will pay her back when my mom gets the rest of the inheritance money in June.

So......

I went camera shopping yesterday and bought an awesome DSLR camera setup that my novice self is not worthy of!

I ordered....

Pentax K20D camera (body only)
Pentax SMCP-FA 50mm 1.4 prime lens
Pentax 75mm-300mm f/4.5-5.8 AL zoom lens
A cheapo Tamrac bag that I'm hoping will work for me
1 extra battery - the Pentax brand (I was too chicken to go cheap 3rd party)
8 gig SDHC card
"Magic Lantern Guides: Pentax K20D" by Peter Burian
"Understanding Exposure" by Bryan Peterson

Since I ordered everything from Amazon, it's not all coming from the same place, so most of it is going to arrive separately. I just know that I'm going to receive the camera and no lenses first or the SD card and bag, but no camera! LOL The suspense will just about kill me.....but not as bad as if I would have had to wait until June :)

I've been doing all kinds of reading and looking through "Pentax K20D - Everything you need to know....and then some" by Yvon Bourque. I've been pouring over Pentax forums and beginner photography websites. I am beyond excited about getting my camera and taking those first few shots....although the thought also frightens and intimidates me.

You may be wondering why I chose a Pentax. I have done so much reading about DSLR cameras in the last few months, it's enough to make my head explode. It's tough to compare cameras based on specs and reviews when you really know nothing about photography. But I was able to glean info from some very smart photographer friends (you know who you are). They were nice enough to answer all of my silly questions about gear and what I might need to get started. I truly agonized over which camera to get, but the bargain shopper in me took over and I couldn't deny that the K10D offered the most bang for my buck. (I later changed my mind and decided on the newer model, the K20D, because the price difference wasn't that much on Amazon.com)

I came across a side-by-side comparison of the same photo shot with a Canon 40D and a Pentax K10D and I was pleased with what I saw. Maybe it's because I am untrained and don't know what I'm looking at, but to me, the quality seemed equal. That's not really what clenched it for me, but it just showed me that I probably wouldn't regret going the cheaper route just based on photo quality alone.

I still caught myself checking out the Canons and Nikons while at Best Buy this evening. I don't doubt that I made a smart purchase, but I think it's just one of those things - it's tough to stop shopping even when you're done shopping.

I just checked my order status on Amazon and it says the camera itself has been shipped. I am smiling like a fool. Wish I could take a picture for you :)

Video is the new Photograph

2009-02-10T14:31:00.005-06:00

....at least in my house it is, until we can get a new camera. I admit, I am lazy about busting out the video camera most of the time. Plus, when I do get it out and start recording, Scout just climbs all over me trying to get the video camera out of my hands or stares at the LCD screen, so I don't get good footage of her. I've found myself reaching for the video camera more often in the last few days just because I am so addicted to taking pictures and I don't want to let any cute moments go undocumented.

So, I will probably be boring you with pointless clips of my daughter doing nothing at all until I get another camera. Thanks for humoring me.

Enjoy :)

Like I mentioned previously, I hardly ever wrestle Scout down so I can brush her hair, and God forbid if I ever get as far as putting it in any kind of pony tail. But Sunday, a friend of mine watched Scout for an hour so DH and I could go to church band practice and when she brought her to church, she had the most neat and tidy and adorable ponytails I have ever seen. I was astonished and asked my friend how she got her to hold still and not throw a fit. My friend looked at me funny and said, "Oh, she just stood there and colored while I fixed it. She didn't even squirm!" I decided from that point on that I am not going to let Scout bully me into not brushing her hair. We are going to get some use out of her cute barrettes and hair accessories, gosh darnnit! Yesterday and today, I have been successful at getting her hair brushed and put up in ponytails (or pigtails?....wait pigtails are braids, right?...so these are ponytails?). I just sit in the floor, put a toy in front of her and put her on my lap and keep putting her on my lap when she tries to get up. I tell her that she can't get up until her hair is done and that I will just keep sitting her back down on my lap as long as it takes to fix her hair. I guess she senses that I mean business because she hasn't put up much of a fight. The jig is up, Scout. Now I know you are capable of sitting still while mommy brushes your hair. You've been outed. Ha!

Top of my Wish List

2009-02-07T22:31:00.003-06:00

My camera is completely broken. It will not power on no matter what I do. It is a Kodak Easy Share that we've had for like 4 or 5 years and I am not super crazy about it anyway. I guess it served its purpose and we got our money's worth, but I still didn't want it to die. DH jokes that I broke it on purpose because I have really been wanting a better camera for a while. (I swear on everything that is good and holy that I did not) I want a DSLR camera so I can get better shots of Scout and dabble in photography a little. I'd like to have better control than what I have with a point-and-shoot. I know nothing about photography, but it's something I've been interested in for a while and I'd love to pursue it as a hobby. I'm not sure what camera I want, but it doesn't matter right now, since we don't have the money. It just sucks to not have a camera at all now.

A friend of mine has a Pentax K10D with a bag, 18-55mm wide angle lens, 75-300mm zoom lens, 4 batteries, 2 wall chargers (one of which has a detachable car charger) a 2 gig SDHC card, a 4 gig SD card, a wireless SD card, (transmits the pictures to computer or laptop via WiFi signal) and card reader, some extra screen protectors, lens cloth, lens cleaner and lens tissue that he said he'd sell to me for $900. Oh, and it also has 4 years left on the warranty. He said everything is like new because he has been so anal about taking care of it - still has all the boxes and packaging. He just wants to upgrade and even though he does not want to sell his current setup, he has his sights set on another camera and needs the money. I don't even know if that's a good deal because I haven't really broken it all down and shopped around for the same things he has for sale, but I think it is. I know that he paid like a grand for just the camera brand new a year ago, but you can get it with a kit lens on Amazon right now for $699.99.

I told him that he probably wants to sell it sooner than when we'll actually be in the market for a camera, but I'd keep it in mind. I guess we're in the market for a camera now that ours broke (what happens if Scout does something cute?) but we seriously have no money to spend on one....let alone, a fancy-schmancy one. Uuughh.

Getting better.

2009-02-07T18:50:00.005-06:00

Thanks for your thoughts and prayers! Scout's doctor called me (himself personally - gotta love this new doc!!) yesterday morning and said that her urine has blood and proteins in it, but no WBC's. So he's thinking that maybe there's an infection, but it's up higher like in her kidneys or "it could be something else kidney related." She's supposed to keep taking her antibiotics and his nurse will call me Monday after they get the results from the culture back from the lab. She hasn't had a fever at all today, and that's without the aid of any fever reducers. Yay! And she slept all night.....from 9:30 to 8:30! I think she is on the mend and whatever infection was in her body is being knocked out by the antibiotics. They'll check her pee again next week. I'm thankful that she acted like herself today and had a pretty good appetite. Even though it's not a definite diagnosis yet, my gut says kidney infection. Totally odd coincidence: one of my best friends, who is pregnant, wound up in the hospital this week with a kidney infection that caused her to have a temp of 105 at some point. Crazy.

Wow, that's high.

2009-02-05T13:07:00.005-06:00

If I ever make a list of Top Ten Worst Things I've Ever Had to Do, bathing a toddler with a temperature of 105.3 in a tub of tepid water would probably be in the running for #1. Okay, to be fair, her actual temp was probably 104.3, since the doc reminded me today that you knock 1 degree off when taking temperature rectally. Poor girl. Dangerously high fever AND rectal probing. Could her night have gotten much worse? I've never seen her flail and scream so much when her body hit the bath water. It must have felt like ice to her. She was screaming "Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!" and then spotted her pajamas on the floor and yelled "Jeeeemies!!!!" and "Jacket!!!" All she knew is she was miserable and mommy was pouring barely warm water all over her burning-up-hot skin. I felt so horrible.

I didn't mean for her fever to get so high. I was having trouble getting a good temp reading because she would flop around and scream wildly when I tried to use the temporal artery thermometer on her forehead and forget about getting a reading from her armpit. I knew she was hotter than I've ever felt her though, so I finally pinned her down and got a rectal reading. When I saw 105.3, I knew we needed to go to the hospital, but I wanted to make a call first.

Earlier in the evening, I made an appointment for Scout to see a new doctor in the morning since we weren't kicking the fever. I spoke with the doc's wife, who is a friend of a friend (got that?) and she got her husband to agree to come in on his day off to see Scout before leaving to go out of town. Super nice people. Anyway, I know from talking to my friend that the doc and his wife have 5 or 6 children, she is studying to be a midwife, breastfed one of her kids 'til he was 4, and (I believe) their kids aren't vaccinated. Anyway, I guess I said all that to say that I knew this lady probably had some advice I could use in my moment of freaking out over a 105 temp.

I was right. I called her and she told me to get Scout immediately into a tub of lukewarm water, sponge her head and neck and then wrap her in a towel and let her hair air-dry. She warned me that she would scream bloody murder and that it would be horrible. Yep. Totally.

Anyway, that got her fever down some and I gave her another dose of baby Motrin. The doc's wife told me I wasn't being liberal enough with the fever reducers and that even though she understood my desire to not over-medicate, that the risk of a fever this high was nothing to play around with and I needed to start giving Scout meds every 3 hours, alternating Motrin and Tylenol. She said, "Trust me - I am not big on medication, but you need to do this."

I feel like a crappy mom for letting her fever get so high.

I followed her advice and Scout's fever has been manageable since. We didn't end up taking her to the hospital. Her temp was even down to 98.8 this morning about 2.5 hours after giving her a dose of Tylenol. The doc said her ears, throat, and lungs are fine. He had me get a urine sample and I took it back to the office. I should hear tomorrow if she has a UTI. The urine looked a little dark to me, so right now, I'm kind of suspecting that. In the meantime, she's on an antibiotic and I am hoping and praying that it doesn't give her a yeast rash in her diaper area. Yucky.

Prayers for my little girl, please and thank you :)

Money well spent?

2009-02-04T15:13:00.004-06:00

We ate out a lot during the power outage last week once the roads were ice-free. Which, I suppose was kind of silly considering that we had access to a gas range the entire time. But eating at restaurants was an excuse to hang out at a warm place with electricity. Plus, the few nights we stayed at a friend's house to take advantage of their gas fireplace, our food was outside in a box and we had to battle their gigantic dogs who liked to jump and lick and escape every time we opened the door to their porch. Suddenly, grabbing the milk for a bowl of cereal turned into a huge chore. And then the temperature outside eventually got high enough that we knew the food had spoiled. See? There. I guess our frivolous ways can be justified after all.

Here are a few pics from a trip to Steak 'n Shake.

Don't you love how my daughter's hair is NEVER brushed? It's just a huge battle to get her to sit still and not scream in order to fix her hair. I guess I'm too lazy to fight it.

Pics from the Ice Storm

2009-02-03T12:54:00.004-06:00

Some of my favorite shots....

Neighbor's Jeep and porch got crushed.

Our front yard.

Ice sliding off a sign.

Looking straight up at a tree from our porch. So glad none of these fell into our dining room window!

You can view the rest HERE.

Today:

2009-02-03T12:09:00.004-06:00

Scout has a fever. The only other symptom is the snotty nose she's had for the last week or so. She's lethargic, hot, and cranky one minute and then hyper, talkative, and funny the next. Could it be the top canines she's finally cutting?

I watched my sweet baby sleep as I stroked her face and hair. Her little baby sighs and her chubby squished cheek against her mattress reminded me of when she was a newborn. She's a big girl now, but in that moment she looked like a tiny baby to me.

Scout and I watched some old episodes of Sesame Street. Just by chance, one of them happened to be the episode right after Mr. Hooper died and the adults on Sesame Street were all trying to explain death to Big Bird. I thought it was pretty cool that they didn't use any euphamisms like "He passed away" or "He went on to a better place". They just said "He died", "He's dead", and "He's never coming back". I sat there and cried like a baby. Scout probably thought I was nuts.

I am still getting over some kind of stomach ailment I had on Sunday. I was suspecting bad sushi I had at a restaurant the night before. Now that I think of it, maybe it was dumb to order sushi after a power outage. Yikes. I thought my tummy was better yesterday. Last night, it felt fine and I even had a tiny bit of Tobasco sauce on my soup to clear my sinuses (which I am now realizing was a stupid decision). Today? Running to the bathroom every 15 minutes and having BAD stomach cramps. Yeah. Diarrhea is awesome when you have a feverish toddler that screams when you put her down. Wondering if my stomach thing and Scout's fever thing are related?

Remembered that my scanner/printer has an SD card slot, so even with my camera refusing to power on (huh?), I am finally uploading pictures of the ice storm to Flickr right now.

Ice Storm

2009-02-02T10:48:00.003-06:00

I want to post all about a recent ice storm that caused us to lose power for 4 1/2 days, but my camera is acting up and I can't get pictures uploaded to my computer right now. Without the pics, it's tough to describe all the damage the ice caused in my area. 1-2" of ice coated all the trees and power lines over the course of Tuesday and Wednesday. I've never seen anything like it. The weight of the ice caused some trees to uproot and fall over, while some snapped into pieces or split right down the middle. We are blessed that no damage was done to our house, considering all the branches that fell from the tall trees in our yard. It was so eerie to step out onto our front porch late Tuesday night when most of the ice was building up. It was pitch black outside and silent, all except for the sound of dozens of snapping branches and falling trees. Electric crews from all over the country were sent in to help us regain power. Most people's electric was restored by late Saturday night, but I have a few friends that are still without power as of today.

We stayed in our house Tuesday and Wednesday night, but it was tough staying warm. It got down to 17 degrees at night and our only heat source was boiling pots of water on our gas stove and a tiny propane camping heater that we were too paranoid to run while we slept, for fear of carbon monoxide poisoning. We are blessed that our gas water heater was still going strong, so we were able to take hot showers. Many of our friends who live in rural areas and have well water didn't have any water at all because, of course, the electric pumps weren't working.

We abandoned our house on Thursday to stay with some friends who offered us a spare bedroom with a fire place. They didn't have electricity either, but their house was MUCH warmer than ours and closer to DH's office and the area business that actually had power. Scout and I spent a lot of time at the Chick-fil-A indoor playground, the kids' area at Barnes and Noble, and any other store that had power and heat. At one point, I took her to Toys 'R' Us and just let her run wild in the aisles, playing with the toys to pass the time and enjoy the electricity.

We spent a lot of money we don't have on eating out, a bunch of groceries that ended up getting ruined, and emergency supplies. Uuughh. But all in all, we came out pretty good. It could have been a lot worse. Stay tuned for pictures.

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2009-02-01T22:01:00.001-06:00

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2009-02-01T21:43:00.001-06:00

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On Shoes, Groceries, and Ethics

2009-01-26T12:10:00.001-06:00

Purchasing a pair of black leather Converse All-Stars Saturday sent me down a rabbit trail thinking about my ethical (or unethical) spending habits. I have 7 beloved pairs of Chuck Taylors, including my new ones.

I've had my burgundy pair since the 8th grade, I think I got the blue ones the following year. It's kind of wild that I still have them 15 years later! I had a yellow pair and a black and white tapestry pair during high school and college that I wore until they were riddled with holes and the soles were flapping. I think my mom finally made me throw them out. I got the pink ones when we were living in Nashville in 2004. DH bought me the graffiti pair for my 25th birthday in 2005. A friend of mine gave me the plaid ones a couple years ago because they didn't fit her and the brown pair was a Christmas present from my mom the same year. Like you really wanted to know the history of my shoes.

I've been wanting a pair of plain black Chucks for long time. I'm not sure what made me finally buy a pair right now. It's not like we really have the extra $65! I was at the mall, saw them, and bought. It was an impulse buy. Anyway, after I got home from the mall I started looking online to see if I could find the same pair for less money. (because I'm thrifty like that and knew I could return the ones to the mall unworn within the next 30 days if I found a better deal)

During my Googling, I stumbled across a couple websites that sell "ethical" Chuck Taylor knock-offs. I was curious, so I unexpectedly ended up doing a lot of reading about shoes being made in sweatshops in China and other countries. Converse was bought buy Nike in 2003 and has been manufacturing Chuck Taylors in China since then. I think I knew that, but hadn't really put much thought into it. Isn't EVERYTHING flippin' made in China these days? Since Nike has a bad reputation for using sweatshops to manufacture their shoes, many people who used to feel good about buying American-made Converse are now turning to these knock-off companies to purchase their sneakers. Blackspot Shoes are made in a union factory in Portugal, meaning they are fair-trade. They are made of organic hemp, have soles that are made of recycled tires, and are 100% vegan. On the company's front page, there is lots of detailed information about the factory working conditions, including hours, employee benefits, and wages. Unfortunately, Blackspot sneakers are $99 (incl shipping to the US) and $113 for their John Fluevog designed "Unswoosher" hightop. Granted, that's not really that outlandishly expensive for shoes, but still not in my budget. No Sweat Apparel also sells a sweatshop-free Chuck Taylor knock-off (for considerably less than Blackspot) but they are currently sold out of most sizes.

I ALMOST had myself talked into returning the Converse to the mall and setting my sights on a pair of Blackspots. But then I got to thinking about the way I spend money. I shop at Wal-Mart on a regular basis. DH and I don't make an effort to purchase fair trade goods. {Gasp!} I just don't put that much thought into where and how stuff is made because it seems like such an overwhelming battle. A battle I'm not sure I'm willing to fight. I realize that we should probably be more conscious about where we spend our money, but sometimes I think it might not be that realistic for us.

Lately, we've been buying most of our groceries at Aldi and then getting what we can't get there at Wal-Mart and our local natural foods store. It stinks having to go 3 different places, but shopping at Aldi seems to save us a little money. The only problem with Aldi is the fact that many products are chock full of high fructose corn syrup, monosodium glutamate, and hydrogenated oils. I have to read labels diligently there and sometimes I can't get the items I want like nitrite-free lunch meat and yogurt that isn't loaded with sugar or aspartame. Wal-Mart has some of the more natural products that we like and then we go to the natural food store for things like fruit-sweetened ketchup and bulk oatmeal. We're not able to buy all organic and natural products, but we just choose our battles. If we were financially better off, I'd love to do all my shopping at the local natural food store. But it's not possible. It's really not even possible to do all our shopping at the local grocery chain because the prices are so much higher than Aldi and Wal-Mart. For our family, being able to buy somewhat healthy minimally processed foods on a shoestring budget trumps being socially responsible by boycotting the big chains in favor of shopping at small local stores. Selfish? Maybe. But that's just how it is.

I know quite a few people who will not shop at Wal-Mart, but feel better about shopping at Target. I've thought about trying to go to Target for more of my shopping, but then I began to wonder what makes Target better than Wal-mart. To me, they are in the same league. They are both non-union big-box stores that offer employees crappy pay and crappy benefits. Target's shelves are just as packed with made-in-China/Indonesia/etc products that are manufactured in factories with unfair labor conditions as Wal-Mart's shelves are. I did a lot of Googling and reading about Wal-Mart and Target last night and I honestly could not find a whole lot of difference between the two. Sure, Wal-Mart is 6 times bigger than Target, but if you just compare business practices, they seem too similar for me to boycott one and support the other. The article Target as Bad as Wal-Mart? You Decide seems to sum up most of the information I found in my research.

So, what did all of that reading make me decide? That I'll probably keep shopping at Wal-Mart. That I'll probably be a little more conscious about where the things I am buying are made, but I know I won't be able to go out of my way to buy American-made and sweat-shop-free goods most of the time. That I'll probably keep my Nike-made China shoes this time around because I can't afford to buy the fancy fair-trade ones, but I might try to make more ethical shoe choices in the future. That I will continue to be proud of the fact that we shop at second-hand stores for a lot of clothes, furniture, and household goods and I will try to shop second-hand even more. That I am a slave to my own wallet, and I kind of hate that. That I can't conquer the world's problems with my purchases, but maybe I can be smarter with how I shop and make a small difference, even if I'm only able to buy "ethical" goods every once in a blue moon.

Photo Booth Style

2009-01-23T16:05:00.004-06:00

Trying to get a decent shot of Scout and I together yesterday while we were lazing around the house and this is what I ended up with....

Please excuse my grease-ball hair and lack of makeup. That's how I roll.

We're going to a Chuck E. Cheese type place for a birthday party (2nd time in one week!) tonight and I'm actually kind of looking forward to it. I didn't even have that good of a time on Saturday when we went because it was insanely crowded and it was hard work chasing scout around. But I'm just ready to get out of the house today, so doing anything sounds fun.

I've hung a couple flyers around town, advertising childcare in my home. (despite my worries about my house being a total pig sty) I haven't received any calls yet, but I didn't really expect the calls to start rolling in right away. I live in a small town and I realize it will take just the right person walking through the post office or bank to glance at the flyer and be compelled to call.

Almost There

2009-01-21T13:23:00.004-06:00

I have finally decided on prices and policies for my prospective childcare business. I've looked into my local laws and as long as I have 5 children or less in my care, I don't have to get any kind of license. I am now CPR certified. I have my childcare handbook/contract finished, along with a page of character references. My flyers are ready to hang up around town. DH and I baby-proofed his crazy/messy/dangerous office area in our family room by completely surrounding it with furniture and closing the gap with a gigantic swinging baby gate. (I know it sounds weird and tacky....but it really doesn't look that bad and it works)

But.....I still don't feel quite ready to get out there and be proactive about finding kids to watch just yet. My house is a dirty wreck and my cluttered laundry room/sewing area currently has the door off the hinges (long story involving the gas company saying we don't have enough air intake in our furnace closet). Suddenly, I feel like someone who just put their home up for sale and has to have their house clean at a moment's notice for prospective buyers. I know that any parent of toddlers would understand and expect to see toys all over my floor, but if I was visiting a home to see if I wanted to use someone as my daycare provider, I might not like the sight of bookshelves coated with 2" of dust, a giant dirty laundry blob taking over the hallway, and tumbleweeds comprised of dog hair, bits of dried Play-doh, and cracker crumbs all over the kitchen floor.

I've got to find a way to maintain my house!!

If you're thinking I should stop blogging and go clean right now, shut up :)

Sentences

2009-01-21T07:13:00.000-06:00

Scout's been putting 2 and 3 words together for a while now, but not very often and not very consistently. But lately, she's been having a sentence explosion. Some things I've heard in the last week:

"Uh-oh! Play-doh fall down!"

"Monkey sleep. Night-night."

"Me hurt me toe!"

"Baby, floor. Fall down! Awww!"

"I tooted."

Inauguration Day

2009-01-20T12:44:00.002-06:00

A snapshot from today:

(Cellist Yo Yo ma, violinist Itzhak Perlman, clarinetist Anthony McGill, and pianist Gabriella Montero playing "Air and Simple Gifts." at the Obama inauguration on our t.v. in the background. It's beautiful.)

Me: Do you want to pee pee on the potty? (Taking Scout's diaper off and placing her on her little potty chair)

Scout: Ppssssssssssss (the sound I usually make when I'm urging her to pee. Scout doesn't pee and runs away.)

Me: Wait! I've got to wipe the pee-pee smell off your bottom. (She giggles and keeps running)

I catch her and wipe her cute little tush off with an ice cold baby wipe (sorry, Scout) while we listen to the 44th President of the United States of America being sworn into office and 2 million people on the National Mall cheering wildly. I hug my hyper, nekkid toddler and kiss her while getting a little choked up and shedding a tear or two.

I've confessed here before that I am not as politically-minded as I probably should be and to be honest, I have no strong feelings about President Obama one way or the other. But watching the inauguration just made me feel so thankful that I live in a country where the transition of power from one leader to another is relatively civil. There is no guerilla army trying to overthrow the government. There is no violent uprising of people when a new official is elected. We may not all agree on our elected officials, but I am so glad that there is at least some order and respect and we can feel safe. My husband, daughter, and I are healthy and blessed. We're well-fed and have a nice house to live in. On this historic day, I am thankful that I live in these United States of America.

Something that hacked me off.

2009-01-19T01:45:00.000-06:00

I have come to realize that I am in a different social class/mindset/planet than most of the other mommies in the little weekly preschool co-op thing Scout and I have been attending. I sometimes walk away from there feeling like crap, and until last week I hadn't pinpointed why. I overheard a conversation that two of the moms were having. One of the moms lives in London, but is visiting family here in the States for a long period of time. She's an American, but I think she was working over there as an architect or engineer or something. Anyway, she was saying that she has been embarrassed to reply to some of her successful-business-women-type friends' emails because she didn't want to have to answer the questions, "Are you still living in London?"..."What firm are you designing for now?"...etc. She jokingly said that she felt like lying to them to avoid admitting that she was living in the Southern U.S. as a housewife in the suburbs....something she never thought she'd be. She went on to talk about some of the things about big city life that she was missing and how she felt like her life here was sort of slow and boring in comparison.

I think it's okay for her to wonder to herself, "How did I get here?" and I wouldn't blame her one bit for missing her success as a career woman and feeling a little sad about it. I just thought it was pretty tacky and downright unthoughtful for her to say the things she did around a group of moms she doesn't know very well. I don't have a college degree and I wasn't a successful career woman before I became a mom. I don't get to travel internationally and I don't rub shoulders with uppity types. But I am NOT ashamed of the fact that I am a stay-at-home mom in a small Southern U.S. town. It annoyed me that she was (whether she realized it our not) implying that her lifestyle and place in this world is better and more important than mine.

I get the impression that many of the ladies in the group are a lot like her. To be honest, most of them (not all) seem a little pretentious and snobby to me. It's taken me a few months to see it, but the group is pretty cliquish and there are some stupid underlying conflicts and power struggles that I think are ridiculous. It's just not the place for me. I don't care to worry myself with playgroup politics. It all seems so silly. For the most part, we have had a good time and it has been a great experience for Scout. But I've been getting together with a small group of mommy friends with toddlers and preschoolers about once a week that I would much rather spend time with. They live closer to me. There is no back-biting, no politics, no butting heads, and no pretentiousness. We are real with each other and open with each other and it is a sisterhood, rather than a group of catty women who are trying to prove something.

8 Happy Years

2009-01-14T09:52:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was our 8th wedding anniversary. It's hard to believe we've been married that long! Wasn't it just yesterday when we were saying "I do" in front of a JP in an old friend's apartment, whilst sipping Pabst Blue Ribbon? Yeah, we were classy folk back then. Actually we aren't any less trashy now, we just aren't drinkers these days.

I am beyond thankful for DH. I bet I can't come up with the right words to say exactly how I feel about him. My love for him has only grown stronger and stronger as time has gone by. Eight years ago, I probably didn't have any idea just how great of a team we would become and how blessed our marriage would be. The other day, DH said something like, "How come OUR marriage is so perfect?" Good question. I have no idea, but I can honestly say that we have one of the best marriages out of all the married people I know. I think it's because we respect each other and we love to make each other happy. I'm not saying that we never disagree, but when we do (which isn't all that often) we try to settle things quickly. We are both pretty quick to apologize and we never stay mad at each other or hold grudges. Life's too short. I know I am painting a pretty rosy picture, but I don't think I'm exaggerating. It really is this good! I have tears in my eyes as I am typing this because it's dawning on me just how rare it is to have what I have. I am so blessed.

We have a tradition of taking a picture of ourselves every year on our anniversary. Last year, we got to add a new person to the photo. Here's this year's photo:

There are a couple of out-takes too...

A recipe from my roots.

2009-01-10T15:44:00.010-06:00

I made my own version of chicken paprikash a couple days ago, based on my aunt's recipe. Next time, I would like to follow her recipe more closely, but I just used what I had on hand. Her recipe called for mushrooms, pimentos, and parsley. I did not have those items, but I didn't miss the mushrooms (I don't remember mushrooms being in the paprikash of my youth) and red bell pepper seemed fine in place of the pimentos.

My paternal grandfather was Hungarian (my maiden name is very Hungarian), so I remember eating a few Hungarian dishes when I was growing up. I don't think I realized it while I was younger, but my hometown and surrounding area has a pretty large Hungarian/Slovakian population. It's funny that I didn't notice. I suppose I just thought that all families ate goulash, palescintas (Hungarian crepes), Beigli (Hungarian nut roll), and pierogies.

I know I'll be giving away my native origins when I say this, but I just have to mention the phenomenon of B@rbert0n Chicken while I am on the subject of Hungarian/Slovakian/Serbian cuisine. B@rbert0n Chicken plays huge roll in my childhood memories. Every special occasion and even many Sunday afternoons warranted a trip to one of the area's chicken restaurants, where we would feast on chicken that had been fried in lard and a spicy Serb1an rice dish that was just called "hot s@uce". As a child, I remember loving the little boat-shaped dish of chicken paprikash that was served with doughy dumplings. Every time I go back up North to visit my family, B@rbert0n Chicken is always on my agenda. My dad's sister has lived on the East Coast for most of her adult life, so whenever she would come in for a visit, she would order gallons of B@rbert0n Chicken hot s@uce to take home with her. It's just that good.

Here is a recipe for the Paprikash I made:

1 whole roaster chicken
4 stalks celery
1/2 green bell pepper
1/2 red bell pepper
2 Tbsp olive oil
4 Tbsp butter
1/2 large yellow onion
2 1/2 Tbsp paprika
1 can low sodium natural chicken broth
1 8 oz can V8 tomato juice
salt and pepper to taste
sour cream to taste

Dumplings:

3 eggs
2 cups flour
1/4 cup water

Place whole chicken, breast side up in slow cooker, along with chicken broth and tomato juice. Slide thin pats of butter up under the breast skin. Sprinkle paprika all over the chicken as well as mixing some in with the liquid. Sprinkle with salt and pepper. Turn the slow cooker on high and then start sauteeing the coarsley chopped celery, onion, and peppers in olive oil. When those are translucent and tender, add to slow cooker.

Cook on high for 3 hours (depending on how big your chicken is)

When the chicken is done, transfer it from the slow cooker to a deep pan with a little bit of the lovely red broth and put it in the oven on warm, covered with foil. (or if you are more high-class than I am, you probably own a roasting pan with an actual lid...that will work too) Leave most of the broth and all the veggies in the slow cooker. Start making your dumplings. Boil a large pot of water. In a large bowl, combine eggs, flour, and water. Mix until dough forms. It will be a little sticky....about the consistency of pizza dough. Plop small spoonfuls of it into the boiling water. When the dumplings float, they are done. I had so much dough, I had to boil them in batches. As each batch was done, I removed them from the pot with the slotted spoon, and added them to the slow cooker (still on high). I let the dumplings sit in the broth to soak in all its yumminess for maybe 20 minutes or so. This gave me plenty of time to make a side dish (we had Brussels sprouts).

I eat my paprikash like so: Ladel lots of dumplings, broth and veggies into a big bowl. Tear chicken into chunks and toss it into the bowl. Add a giant dollop of sour cream. Devour.

Oh, yum.

Well, I'll Be.

2009-01-10T15:16:00.006-06:00

When my in-laws came over for Christmas dinner, my mother-in-law informed me that there is a huge pecan tree in our side yard that has dropped pecans everywhere and is still shedding some. I have lived in this house for over 3 years and had no idea we have a pecan tree. We just don't play on that side of the yard much and we sure as heck don't keep up with manicuring our lawn, so all those little nuts were easy to miss among the 3 inches of leaves covering that corner of the property. Still, I feel kinda silly that I didn't know.

The other day, we went out and picked a bunch off the ground. Think this is enough for a pie? :) Not sure how much is there - feels like at least a couple of pounds. There are tons more in the yard, but my back was tired and I was bored.

I thought that second picture was kinda neat until I realized that the nut meat is not there. I ate it before I took the pic! Doh!

Pointless ramblings about my evening

2009-01-09T22:10:00.003-06:00

Scout and I went to the mall to walk, eat, and play after meeting up w/ MIL at Wa1-mart to pick up some odds and ends she had for us. DH stayed at home to study for a test he has to take for work.

While at the mall we...

...walked into the family restroom only to discover that it was all smelly and hazy with cigarette smoke. Ewww. I hate trying to fit my gigantic stroller in the regular restroom and then change Scout on a table that is directly in the way of other people on their way to the bathroom stalls....but it was better than breathing in a cloud of smoke.

...split a plain hamburger and something called a "veggie plate". Don't let the name fool you - I'm sure it wasn't super duper healthy. There was parmesan creamed spinach, veggies sauteed in butter, and sweet potato fries drizzled with some kind of delicious brown-sugary goo.

...saw an elderly man walking hand-in-hand with (what I assume to be) his toddler grandson. They appeared to be on a date by themselves. I just thought it was so sweet.

...met a different elderly man on the bench by the fountain. He was friendly and we both had a chuckle about Scout tossing an animal cracker into the water right after I had let her throw a penny in. Then he asked her name and made a rude hhhmmm-that's-odd face when I told him.

...had a huge struggle with trying to get Scout to hold my hand through the mall. I was feeling especially nice and wanted to let Scout walk instead of riding in the stroller for a change. I would do it more often, but it's tough to chase a toddler through a crowded mall AND push the stroller with all its contents. I tried several times to give her the choice to either hold my hand and walk through the mall OR get back in the stroller. It's really hard reasoning with a toddler when they are throwing a huge tantrum. But when I finally got her to listen to what I was saying, she chose to hold my hand and I was proud of her. That lasted for a while, but she would eventually try to break free and another tantrum would ensue and I'd have to start the whole bargaining process all over again.

...had some 'tween boys stop us as we were getting off the elevator at D1llard's so one of them could show me "happy feet dance" as they all giggled. It must have been a dare or something.

...saw an orange Lug bag I liked that I don't really need. But I am a purse addict and stood there for a good 15 minutes checking it out. I'm weird.

...ran into a couple that used to go to my church and it was weird and uncomfortable because I was never all that close with them and I think they may or may not have left on not-so-great terms. Gotta love those awkward conversations.

...hung out at the kids' play area for a long time. I saw Scout get socially rejected for the first time and it made me sad. Okay, "socially rejected" may be a little dramatic. A group of kids were climbing on the big soft padded campfire and Scout wanted to get on too. They didn't push her off or anything, they just refused to make room for her and told her to go away. Her feelings were hurt and she walked off with her bottom lip poking out and then knelt down and hid her face in her hands on the ground. I know it's all part of learning how to interact with others....but it was still hard for me to watch.

Okay, I guess that's all. This is getting long and I wanna go snuggle with my husband. Have a good night!

Fantastic Invention

2009-01-08T23:24:00.004-06:00

Whenever I express a need/want for a practical item (no matter how expensive), DH makes it his mission to get it for me. I am seriously spoiled like that. He is not necessarily a romantic kind of guy, but I swear that he will bend over backwards to make me happy. I told him that Scout and I would really benefit from having a Learning Tower (after she helped me with the holiday pumpkin pies and kept falling off the kitchen chairs) and soon after, he was on the website with one in his shopping cart. He had planned on only going part of the way through the checkout process so he could just see how much the total would be after tax and shipping so we could save up for it. Well, he ended up accidentally going all the way through the checkout process and inadvertently ordering one. After that, I guess he decided "what-the-hey" and didn't cancel the order. I was really excited when he told me. I love accidentally getting huge expensive presents.

It arrived on Tuesday. I couldn't wait to get it out of the box to assemble it. Okay, well, I wasn't all that thrilled with assembling it because you know, putting furniture together is about as much fun as going bathing suit shopping. But I couldn't wait for Scout to use it, so I put it together right away. Assembly wasn't terrible. (even with my little helper, who kept running away with the stupid tiny allen wrench you get with those furniture kits)

I was impressed with the quality right away. It is heavy and super sturdy (it's solid layered birch, not crappy particle board or anything like that). As soon as I tightened the last screw and pushed it up to the kitchen counter, Scout climbed right onto it. I could tell that she was very pleased about the fact that she climbed up on her own and could suddenly reach where mommy and daddy can reach. She washed her hands all by herself and then we played with some Play-D0h. She loves it up there! She can also climb down by herself. Now, she prefers to eat her snacks and even some meals standing on her tower....which is fine by me because it makes for easy cleanup.

After I took these pics, I lowered the platform down one notch, just to ensure that Scout wouldn't be able to lean over the side and flip out of the tower. Although, I think she's fine on the highest setting because she doesn't seem at all interested in leaning over the side.

I know we've only had it a few days, but I can already tell that this is one of those expensive pieces of baby gear that is actually worth the money. It has already changed the quality of my life, as evident by the lack of whiny meltdowns while I'm cooking dinner or loading the dishwasher. I can slide the tower over to the sink and let Scout play with some warm water and kitchen utensils while I open the oven to get the garlic bread out and chop veggies for the salad. It's amazing. Whoever thought of this is a genius.

I'm gonna do it.

2009-01-07T21:33:00.001-06:00

I've toyed with the idea of babysitting in my home before. Until recently, the thought of it has scared me because it would be such a huge commitment and it seems like my daily life would change so much. Scout's daily life would change also - she would no longer have my undivided attention during the day. But the more I think about it, the more I think it would actually be a good change. As much as I hate to admit it to myself, it will be a long time before we are in the financial position to have another child of our own. I really like the idea of Scout having someone to play with on a daily basis (although, I know there are disadvantages to that as well). I also think I will be forced to shove most of my chores to the back burner while I focus on playing with the kids. I am guilty of trying to get too many things around the house done during the day, which really cuts into my play time with Scout. Don't get me wrong, we still do a lot of fun stuff and she has a good time being my little "helper", but I admit that sometimes I should just drop what I'm doing and pay more attention to her. I'm sure I will still toss a load of laundry in the wash or unload the dishwasher here and there, but I mainly want to treat my household chores just like a mom who works outside the home, saving many tasks for the evening and weekends.

I made up some flyers to hang around town and I'm hoping to get 1 or 2 kids to start with. I'm not looking into getting licensed or anything - the most kids I'd ever end up taking would be 5. I honestly can't see myself handling that many at this point, so I want to start small and see how that works out first. I'm taking a CPR course this Saturday and a friend of mine sent me a copy of her daycare provider's contract so I could get some idea of how mine should look. Another friend of mine who babysits in her home gave my number to a mom with a 2-year-old and a 4-year-old because she doesn't have any spots open. That was a couple days ago, but I haven't gotten a call from her yet. DH just informed me this evening that some friends of ours may be looking for full time childcare for their son (who is just 2 weeks older than Scout). I would LOVE to watch him and think they would be the ideal family to babysit for, but they live and work about 35 minutes from us, so it may not pan out. I'm still hoping they call me though, so we can at least talk about it.

I prayed the other day that I would get matched up with the perfect family(ies)...that I would be the right person to meet their needs and they would be the right people to meet my needs. I prayed that prayer earnestly and in faith. I know that there are a couple of kiddos out there that are just meant to spend their weekdays here with me and Scout and I'll soon find out who they are.

I think I've said this before, but I'll say it again. I have learned so much and have had to eat so many of my words since the days when I used to babysit Bob. I wasn't a mommy back then. On top of that, I was a cranky, hormonal, and tired pregnant lady dealing with someone else's toddler. I don't think I gave him my absolute best as a childcare provider and I wish I could have a do-over. I learned a lot from that whole situation...including the fact that a contract between a childcare provider and the parent is an absolute must. Oh well. It's all in the past.

I'm excited and nervous about this chapter in my life. I know there will be parts of it that won't be easy, but I feel like this is what I was meant to do, at least for a season. I have the time and the resources to do it. Having Scout has given me a love for toddlers (even other people's toddlers!) that I've never had before. I love to watch them learn and play and grow. It will be so rewarding to know that I'm providing a couple of kids a fun and safe environment during the time they are away from their parents during the workday.

And yes, on top of all that, the extra money sure will be nice as well! :)

And just some pics 'cause I like her...

Wish this one would have been more in focus...

Lazy Holiday

2009-01-01T10:29:00.007-06:00

We had a pretty good time at the New Year's Eve party. Scout wasn't clingy and was content playing with the 2 other kids all evening. We ate some yummy spaghetti casserole stuff, garlic bread, salad, and cupcakes. The ladies sat around and chatted it up while the men talked about movies and played video games. DH laid in the recliner and played with his iPhone and just relaxed because he's not really into movies OR video games. Poor guy. I probably had a better time than he did. Scout was mesmerized by the violence on the screen as the guys played M0rtal K0mbat vs. DC Un1verse. I didn't like that at all. She stared at the screen with a furrowed brow, looked concerned and sometimes tried to mimic the punching and grunting. She turned to me with a serious look on her face and said, "Fall! Hit!" as she smacked the air in front of her. I decided I'd rather not have her watching that stuff and distracted her enough to get her to play in her little friend's room with me instead. The other two kids (boys, ages 2 and 3) didn't even pay one ounce of attention to what was on the screen. Maybe because they've seen it before and it's old hat? Or maybe Scout's just super observant? I don't know. I'm aware I can't shelter her from violence like that forever, but I just don't like my 20-month-old staring wide-eyed at comic characters beating the crap out of each other while blood sprays everywhere.

We stayed there until about 11:00. Scout was spent. She went right to bed when we came home and DH and I watched the ball drop and a little bit of the crappy pop music that happens afterward. I do like music with a beat that you can dance to and I like watching talented hip hop dancers do their thing, but I wasn't really into the groups that were performing on the New Year's Eve show. I am either old or lame (or both), and I guess really don't like most of the new-fangled raunchy pop music of today. (ie. Pussycat Dolls) I am praying that Scout does not enjoy that type of music when she is a young pre-teen girl. It is such trash.

I also saw an ad for M1ley Cyru$' Sweet 16 Birthday Party while I was watching the Rockin' Eve stuff and it made me sad to know that so many young girls idolize her. I mean, she's not as bad as some of the other wild girl pop stars out there, but she was wearing some totally sleazy outfits and as a parent of a little girl, that disappoints me. Why does a barely 16-year-old need to wear a skirt that is 10" above her knee and 1" below her belly button? What is the purpose of a girl that young wearing a formal dress that is super low-cut and exposes a lot of cleavage? I know I sound like a prude, but I don't care. I just think it's senseless for a girl that young to be showing her goods. I guess I could be a hypocrite for thinking that, since I myself was one of those teenage girls who found her worth in whether or not guys found her physically attractive. I didn't dress like a slut, but I was boy-crazy and did all sorts of things I regret. I wish I would have had more respect for myself and I'm going to work really hard to let Scout know that she is better than that. I want her to be a smart and level-headed girl who is allowed to have fun with her friends, but knows that her worth is not measured by boys or popular friends or clothes or anything else that popular teen culture tries to make seem important. I don't want to cause her to see things like that as some alluring forbidden fruit, but I also don't want her to be free to "sew her wild oats" or whatever. I know the balance is going to be tricky, but I am just going to have to believe and pray that she'll come out okay if we teach her well and we're honest with her. Ummmmm...okay....rant over :) I guess all those scantily-clad young girls on t.v. last night just really got me thinking about what Scout's teen years are going to be like. I'm thankful that we do have a while before I have to think too awfully hard about it.

Wow, now that was one heck of a tangent! Anyway, even though everything I just wrote probably makes me sound like a Negative Nelly, we really did have a decent New Year's Eve and New Year's Day is shaping up to be great too. DH is home and we've all just been lazing around in our jammies.

Hope you are all having a fantastic New Year's Day!

Happy New Year!!!

2008-12-31T15:06:00.005-06:00

We're going to my friend's house later for a New Year's Eve party. Her son is best pals with Scout, so it'll be nice to just set her free in their house to run wild with the boy and not have to worry about following her around. I really don't like going to my childless friends' homes for dinners and events. No offense to them, but it's just no fun for me to chase after my 20-month-old for 3 hours, making sure she doesn't pull a glass trinket off a shelf or stumble into the unguarded wood burning stove. When we go to Scout's best friend's house, all we have to do is occasionally peek into the bedroom to make sure no one is choking or coloring on the wall and that's it. I can park my rear on the couch and engage in adult conversation and enjoy my cup of coffee.

The only bad part about tonight is the fact that there will be lots of people there and Scout is NOT AT ALL fond of crowds in a tight space. She gets pretty freaked out when we're in the church foyer or sanctuary and there is a traffic jam of people coming or going. She's not crazy about elevators either. Maybe she's a little claustrophobic. Anyway, the last time my friend had a lot of people over, Scout wanted me to carry her around the entire time. She didn't even want me to sit down with her on my lap. I had to be standing up and I had to be holding her. Oye. When people started leaving and the crowd got quieter and sparse, she relaxed and got down to play with the remaining kids. There will be a total of 3 kids and 10 adults in my friend's 1500 square foot house this evening and I'm hoping that Scout ends up feeling more comfortable than she did last time.

Here's hoping.

To tell the truth, I much prefer smaller parties too. I would rather spend an evening with just one or two couples, max. Any more than that is just too much for me. I'm definitely a one-on-one type of person instead of a mingler.

My and Mine

2008-12-28T22:56:00.002-06:00

Scout has learned how to use possessive words like "my", "mine", "mommy's", and "daddy's" correctly. She doesn't say "yours" yet. For some reason, it amazed me that she suddenly started saying "my" and "mine". I guess my surprise comes from the fact that I never really say it. If she wants something of mine and I don't want to give to her, I usually say "That's mommy's". I'm not sure why I speak of myself in the third person like that. Do you other mommies do that? "Mommy's getting her shoes on"...."Mommy's boobie hurts because you're not nice to it when you nurse"...."Mommy's going to make you something to eat"... Why don't I just say "I am going to make you something to eat?" Where did this weird third person thing come from?

Anyway, somehow she learned possessive words and that's okay with me. It's sort of cute. (for now) Today, she was looking through one of her bagel books and each time she turned the page, she squealed "My beagle!" in a happy and excited tone. I love it when she says "My daddy" or "My mommy". It sounds so cute.

I'm just not looking forward to the whole grabbing objects away while shouting, "Mine!" thing. She hasn't really done that yet. I hope she turns out to be the only toddler that has ever walked the earth who doesn't do that.

Christmas

2008-12-27T22:21:00.003-06:00

I was super stoked about Christmas this year. I suppose it's because it was Scout's first Christmas at home (we were at visiting my family up North during her first Christmas) and I knew this would be the first year she'd be able to unwrap her gifts all on her own and actually be somewhat excited about it. I had so much fun shopping for her gifts and wrapping everything. I even found myself listening to Christmas music quite a bit during the weeks leading up to Christmas (which is something I've never really been into before). I got even more into the Christmas spirit when DH's parents and sister accepted my invitation to come to our house for Christmas dinner.

On Christmas Eve, DH, Scout, and I didn't really do anything traditional. We ended up going to W@l-mart shortly before they closed at 6:00 PM because we had never seen it close and wanted to see all the crazy frazzled people doing last minute shopping. That, and there were rumors of insanely discounted baked goods (we were disappointed...nothing was discounted). After we hung out at Wa1-mart (gosh, we're pathetic), we went to McDona1d's to eat. When we were sitting there, DH looked around at the other people and said to me, "What kind of losers eat at McDona1d's on Christmas Eve?", to which I replied, "Us." Yeah...it was a totally weird thing to do, I guess. But our church didn't have a Christmas Eve service and we didn't feel like tagging along with any of our friends to their family functions. I actually quite enjoyed our laid-back uneventful Christmas Eve spent with just the 3 of us.

After Scout went to bed, DH and I brought a bunch of presents in from the garage and he arranged all the gifts addressed to Scout along the outside of the gate around our tree. I actually heard the words, "I'm excited about Christmas" come out of his mouth. That's something I thought I'd never hear. I suppose he was excited for the same reason I was. Our little girl. I could tell that he enjoyed placing all the gifts around the tree for her.

We both woke up before Scout and laid in bed listening to the baby monitor for her for a little while before we heard her stir. We got the camera and video camera ready for when she walked in to see her presents. As soon as she got up, she nursed and then headed straight for the presents. She seemed to have a lot of fun unwrapping everything. We had to stop several times to open up her toys because she wanted to play with them NOW. She received so many fun things! It will be nearly impossible to keep from spoiling her at Christmas because no matter how few gifts DH and I decide to give her, she'll always get tons from her grandparents and aunt.

I have too many favorite pictures from that day to post all of them here, so I'll just post this one of me with Scout, and let you go check out the rest on my Flickr page.

Hope you and yours had a wonderful Christmas!!

My "Hoper"

2008-12-23T22:21:00.005-06:00

Scout is in a phase right now where she really likes to help me. If I am carrying a laundry basket from one room to another, she says "Hope! Hope!" and runs over to "help" me carry it. It is so cute how she really thinks she is helping. She works so hard and does it with such concentration, even though she is not really bearing any of the weight and just making it harder on my back. When we get to our destination and we put the basket down, she says "Eh go!" (there ya go) and nods her head in satisfaction. I try to let her "help" whenever I can because I see how happy in makes her.

Today, I did some holiday baking and she was not content to play in the floor. She wasn't even content to stand at the table and play with dishes or toys. She wanted to be doing EXACTLY what mommy was doing. So I sprinkled some flour on the table in front of her and gave her a makeshift rolling pin made from a dismantled turkey baster. I rolled the dough out for the pumpkin pies and she rolled her turkey baster tube through the flour. It didn't take her long to catch on that she didn't have a big ball of dough like mommy and she started getting bored with the flour. I didn't give her any dough because I had just enough to make 2 pies. While I rushed to get the crusts in the pie plates, she managed to get flour all over the place. It was all over her face and clothes and everything within a 10 foot radius of the chair she was standing on was coated in a film of flour. After I was done with the crusts, I changed her and cleaned up the flour. She was whiny and clingy, but I still had so much to do. I knew that she would not be able to keep herself entertained while I baked, so I would just have to include her.

I stood her at the table again and let her help make the pumpkin pie filling. She had a little bowl with the sugar and spices and she was in charge of mixing that with a plastic fork while I opened the can of pumpkin. I mixed the pumpkin and eggs together and then let her pour the sugar and spice mixture in. She did a great job! She kept saying, "Cook! Cook!" I guess she got that from me having to tell her repeatedly not to eat the ingredients because we had to cook them first. She stirred that mixture while I opened the cans of evaporated milk. I started pouring the first one in, but she just couldn't stand it. She wanted to pour the milk in soooooo bad. "This will be a disaster", I thought to myself. But I handed her the can anyway. And you know, she did surprisingly well and made very little mess. I was proud of her for fighting the urge to turn and pour it all over the floor. I just knew that's what she wanted to do. She was a little more wild with the second can, but it still wasn't too bad. I kept looking at her face and seeing all the pride and delight she was feeling. I love it. Often, when I'm letting her do something all by herself, I'll say, "You're such a great helper to mommy! Thank you!" The whole time she was standing at the table with me, she kept saying, "Hoper" and smiling. She was so proud to be mommy's "hoper".

You know those moments in your life when you don't have a camera or a video camera handy, but you want to "record" the memory in your brain so it will last forever and ever? Yeah, this was totally one of those times. Me and my 20-month-old daughter baking Christmas pies together and having a blast.

After the pies were in the oven, I had the radio on and Scout started to dance as I was clearing off the table. I started dancing too and then we eventually both ended up running around in circles, singing, "La la la hhhmm hhhhmm" (a song Scout made up). I looked completely ridiculous, but it made Scout happy. And really, that's all that mattered to me at that moment.

And to end things on a not-so-sappy note, I am thinking that I would LOVE to get her a Learning Tower because she fell off the chair TWICE while she was helping me today. Ouch. It's pretty pricey, but when I think of all the use we would get out of something like this, it seems worth every penny. Here's a pic from the company website:

It's definitely not in the budget any time soon and DH and I are not crafty enough to make something like this. I MUST find a way to own one, though. It would help out SO much.

Santa Cow

2008-12-20T14:27:00.004-06:00

We've never taken Scout to sit on Santa's lap. I just know it would be too traumatic for her. She hates it when mommy and daddy try to hand her to ANYONE, let alone a big bearded stranger in a crowded mall.

But when we went to lunch at Chick-fil-A last week, they had their cow mascot dressed as Santa taking pics with kiddos for free. Since Scout likes cows, I thought we'd be able to talk her into posing with it. She liked looking at him from afar. In fact, she got upset when the cow got up and left for his 15 minute break. But then when he came back, she would stare at him and shake her head and say "no". It was like a train wreck that she couldn't help staring at. She wasn't very fond of him, but couldn't make herself look away.

When we thought she had warmed up to the idea of going over to the cow to say hello, DH gently tried to kneel down beside Santa cow so she could get a good look at him. She clawed and climbed up DH's chest in terror. I think she would have climbed to the very top of his head to get away from that cow. So, this is as close as we could get to taking a picture with Santa cow:

Frankly, I think the cow looks a little scary too!

Home Alone

2008-12-18T07:50:00.006-06:00

How weird. I just read a post over at Through the Looking Glass about night terrors a couple days ago. Then last night, Scout seemed to have her first one. She went to bed around 8:30 and then woke up screaming at 10:00. She was totally inconsolable and seemed to be oblivious to the fact that I was trying to nurse her and comfort her. She was just writhing in my arms, crying, and there was nothing I could do. DH and I were having a hard time telling if she was awake or not. Her eyes were half open at some point, but I don't think she was making eye contact or hearing what we were saying. About 15 minutes later, I took her back into her room. As soon as we stepped into the darkness of her bedroom and shut the door, she began to calm down. It seemed like she fell asleep even before I sat down and started nursing her. It only took a few minutes before she was totally calm and sound asleep in her bed again. Crazy. If I hadn't read Annika's post a few days earlier, I might have been more freaked out. See? Me wasting time reading blog upon blog really does serve a purpose. I already feel better about the fact that I'm sitting here in my pajamas, sipping coffee, and staring at blogs and message boards this morning. I may glean some very useful information by sitting on my big rear at my computer desk.

I can't help but feel a little responsible for Scout's night terror. Yesterday, an older lady from my church came and picked Scout up and kept her all day for me so I could have a day to get things done around the house and run errands without dragging her in and out of the cold. Besides the time I was sick in bed and Matt took Scout out of the house all day so I could rest a couple Saturdays ago, I haven't had a day at home alone since Scout was born. When sweet Church Lady came to pick Scout up, she screamed and screamed and was just so sad and upset when I was buckling her into the car seat. I think she could sense that I wasn't getting in the car with them. I felt SO BAD for putting her through that. Scout is familiar with this woman and has spent quite a bit of time with her at church when I have had to be on stage singing, but she was still very upset about going with her. As Church Lady was backing out of my driveway with my heartbroken child, I felt like the worst mommy in the universe.

But then, Church Lady called about 20 minutes later and said that Scout calmed down right away and she was having a great time playing in her kitchen floor with her grandson's refrigerator magnets. That made me feel a lot better and I was able to enjoy my day. She updated me several times throughout the day to let me know that Scout was doing fine and having fun. They baked cookies together and Church Lady even let Scout stir the cookie dough. When I went to pick her up, she was obviously having a fantastic time and didn't want to put her coat on to leave.

But last night when she had that screaming fit in her sleep, I wondered if she was reliving the traumatic scene of me strapping her into Church Lady's car. I really hope that's not what she was dreaming about. But then, maybe the night terror had more to do with the fact that she hadn't taken a nap all day and her body and mind were just spent. I guess I will never know. Oh well.

All I know is that I got to clean my bathroom and kitchen in peace without little hands trying to touch toilet water or grabbing fistfuls of forks out of the silverware drawer. It was amazing.

I also had time to dye my hair....which turned out redder than I had planned.

And now I look a little like Angela from My So Called Life. Meh.

Scout's First Sleepover

2008-12-14T16:10:00.006-06:00

Last night, Scout stayed the night at her best friend's house while DH and I went to his work Christmas party, went bowling, then ate a late night breakfast at Denny's. We were definitely in need of a date night and my good friend (you know, the one who wanted to babysit Scout 6 days after she gave birth to her daughter?) was happy to keep Scout for us. She offered to let Scout spend the night, but I was pretty sure that wouldn't work, since I'm the only one who ever puts Scout to bed. I packed her jammies, but in the back of my mind I just knew it wouldn't happen.

I was wrong. I was pleasantly surprised when my friend called to tell me that she had given Scout a cup of warm milk, rubbed her back, let her fall asleep on their bed, then transferred her to a play pen in their guest bedroom. She said that Scout cried just a little bit when she transferred her from the bed to the play pen, but quickly went right back to sleep.

At that point, we had skipped out of the company Christmas party (gosh, it was boring) along with a few of DH's coworkers and their wives, and headed to a D@ve & Bus+er's type place. Our intention was to go bowling, but the wait for a lane there was 2 hours long, so we found another bowling alley. We played one game and then all went out for breakfast. I think it was about 1 AM by the time we finally made it home. It was like being young and care free again! Although, I suppose I wasn't TOTALLY care free. I admit that I was just waiting for my phone to ring at any moment, with news from my friend that Scout had woken up and was inconsolable. Thankfully, I never got that call.

I called her at 7:30 this morning to ask how things were going and she said that Scout had slept all night long and woke up at 6:30 AM. (which was no problem, since that's when her 2-year-old wakes up every morning anyway) She hadn't even made so much as a peep all night! She said that Scout and her son had just eaten breakfast and were playing happily together and to take my time picking her up. I got there around 9:00 and hung out and chatted with my friend for a little while and then went on to church.

I feel so blessed to have a friend like that. It is so nice to be able to leave my child in a safe and loving environment, where I know she will be well taken care of and I don't have to worry about her at all. DH and I don't go out on dates very often, but it's still great to know we have a good place to leave Scout when we do.

Here's a pic of us at the Christmas party:

Scout's First Haircut

2008-12-07T23:07:00.003-06:00

I've been so tired of Scout's hair constantly getting in her eyes. She won't keep clips or ponytail holders in her hair for very long. It's a rare thing if she doesn't yank her barrette out before we're halfway to our destination. I chase her around the house all day trying to sweep the hair out of her face or clip it back. It seems like her hair is covering her eyes in about 50% of the pictures I take of her.

So, DH and I finally decided it was time for a haircut. I think we both held off on it for so long for sentimental reasons. I once heard a mommy being sentimental about her child's hair before his first trim by saying, "But it's the hair he was born with, you know." That stuck with me, even though I know it's probably only partly true. A lot of Scout's original hair fell out when she was about 3 months old, which caused her to have a mohawk:

...so I bet a lot of the hair she has now isn't really the hair she was "born with". But still. I'm a little attached to it.

We made plans with a lady at our church who has a lot of experience cutting kids' hair to stay after service this week so she could give Scout some bangs. I ended up missing church altogether today because I was still getting over the nasty tummy bug I got from Scout (It got even worse after my last blog post and turned into puking, pounding headache, and body aches) so I figured we'd have to reschedule.

But then, I was pleasantly surprised to see this face when DH and Scout walked in the door after the evening church service:

I think she looks super cute with bangs and I'm already loving the fact that her hair isn't attacking her eyes anymore. DH said she screamed and squirmed while she was getting it cut, so our beautician friend had to work really fast. I think she did a pretty good job, considering.

And a couple more, for good measure:

*******Edited to Add:*******

I forgot to include a good "before" picture of Scout's untamed mane....so here ya go:

Yucky Tummy Stuff

2008-12-05T01:35:00.004-06:00

Scout had some sort of 24 hour tummy bug that started on Wednesday night. It involved lots of projectile vomiting. Fun. Poor thing could not keep anything down. DH and I were pretty much up all of Wednesday night getting barfed on and changing clothes and bedding. We had to keep doing load after load of laundry because we were running out of towels and bedding. Yesterday afternoon it seemed she was feeling more like herself and the vomiting had stopped. She managed to hold down some breastmilk, a grape juice popcicle, a little bit of yogurt, and a bite of grilled cheese sandwich. Yay!

I guess I must have the bug now though, only it's manifesting in a different way (if you know what I mean). I woke up at 1:00 this morning with the need to RUN to the bathroom. I've been in and out ever since. Yikes. Then, just 30 minutes ago, Scout woke up and needed me to nurse her back to sleep. Not only was I stuck in her room with her nursing on my lap while dealing with some pretty nasty stomach cramps, I had a killer tickle in the back of my throat that would not go away. You know, the kind that makes you have to cough violently for several minutes no matter how bad you try to hold it back?? I had 3 loud and disturbing coughing fits while trying to get her back to sleep. I tried so hard not to cough, but I couldn't help it. Talk about frustrating (for the both of us)! I finally got her back to sleep but then as I sat down to type this, she woke up again. I managed not to have any coughing fits while getting her to sleep this time around. Phew! I think she really is settled back in for the night now (I hope). I guess her sleep schedule is just a little off because she napped so much yesterday when her body was fighting the tummy bug.

Honestly, I would take my own rotten belly, a menacing cough, and a toddler who won't sleep over a puking and miserable toddler any night of the week. I hate seeing her sick. It's so pitiful!

I need a new design!

2008-11-29T15:22:00.004-06:00

It just occurred to me that when people view my blog via Internet Explorer, sometimes they can't comment because the link to my comments are invisible. It's usually the posts that contain a lot of labels. (I know what's causing that, but don't know how to fix it to look right in bother Firefox and Explorer) Also, I am not able to add "older posts" and "newer posts" links at the bottom of my pages because my blog is not hosted on blogger and therefore am not able to use their "Page Elements" feature. Not having "older posts" and "newer posts" links is driving me crazy because I know if people want to browse through my previous posts, they have to do it through my archives - they just can't scroll through my blog page by page. I cannot for the life of me figure out how to add the right code to my template to make it work. I can't seem to find a template for my blog that does everything I need it to do, even when I try to tweak it. I have considered moving my blog over to Wordpress, but php intimidates me and I am too lazy/busy to figure it out. This was kind of a pointless post. I'm just griping to myself, I guess.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2008-11-27T01:44:00.004-06:00

We're going to DH's boss' house for Thanksgiving dinner. A little weird, no? I think we're doing something with the in-laws this weekend instead of today, so we didn't have any plans. DH's boss sent out an email with an open invitation to anyone at the company who needed a place to spend the holiday. And we accepted. Wow. We sound pathetic. LOL :)

I miss my family all year 'round. But I REALLY miss them during the holidays. DH's family just doesn't do holidays like my family does. I grew up with huge gatherings of grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins....a house filled with loud conversation, the aroma of an absolutely incredible dinner with at least 15 different desserts, and little kids running around like maniacs. DH's family tends to do things a little more low-key and there isn't much extended family around. I've lived here for 8 1/2 years and I still can't get used to it.

We didn't put up a Christmas tree last year because we spent Christmas with my family Up North. The year before that, we focused mainly on Festivus, so our only decor was an unadorned pole. I'm sure we'll have another Festivus party (I hope so, anyway) but for some reason, I have been really stoked about putting our Christmas tree up this year. I know it's customary to put it up the day after Thanksgiving, but I didn't have anything going on yesterday and found myself up in the attic digging around for decorations during Scout's nap. The minute I saw the shiny aluminum branches of our tree, I knew I would not be able to wait to set it up.

I am not sure exactly how old it is, but I am pretty sure that DH's grandparents owned this tree since the 1960's. It looks like brand new and the rotating color wheel light still works. DH is not a huge fan of Christmas, but yesterday when he came home from work and saw it set up in our dining room, he said, "I like our tree. If we have to have a Christmas tree, I'm glad ours doesn't look like anyone else's." I would have to agree.

Doesn't the big ugly plastic baby corral just complete the look?

Rainbow Soup

2008-11-25T07:53:00.004-06:00

I made some "Rainbow Soup" the other day, inspired by this recipe, but I changed it up a lot to use what I had on hand. I had roasted a whole chicken the night before and needed to use the leftovers. This soup was sooooo yummy and was a great way to use up the chicken.

2-3 cans low sodium natural chicken broth (I had used all the stock from the chicken for gravy the night before. Ummm. Yum.)
1 medium onion
4-5 stalks celery
1 big bunch kale (washed and stalks removed)
1 lb bag baby carrots
1 can diced tomatoes (with juice)
1 tbsp (or to taste) paprika
salt to taste
1/2 chicken (de-boned and diced)
2 tsp dalmation sage
2 cups cooked brown rice

I bet it would have been a lot easier to put everything in the crock pot and walk away, but I waited too late in the day to start it, so I did it the fast cheater way.

I poured the chicken broth and canned tomatoes into my big soup pot along with the chicken and had it on high heat for a little while just to get things started. In another pot, I had my brown rice cooking according to the package instructions. I also had the baby carrots in my steamer, getting them a little tender. Then, I heated some butter (actually Smart Balance 50/50 Butter Blend...I love that stuff) in a large skillet and tossed in the chopped onion, kale, and celery. I sprinkled everything with a little bit of Cavender's Greek Seasoning (and then I read the ingredients and saw that it has MSG....Doh! So, if you want to stay away from MSG, I'd suggest using something else) In retrospect, I wish I would have put the celery in the pan first and let it cook a while before putting the onion and kale in because the onion and kale got done much quicker than the celery did. You'll know the kale is done when it looks all dark and wilty like seaweed. I threw all of the veggies into the soup pot and also added the paprika and sage. When the rice was done, I set it to the side because DH has to watch his carb intake since he's on a diabetic diet. We added the rice to our individual bowls of soup, but I bet the rice would be great actually in the soup if you don't have to pay attention to carbs. Somewhere along the way, I had to add some water to the soup because it didn't have enough broth. It still ended up pretty chunky, but I like my soup that way. I really loved this soup and I'm still enjoying the leftovers! Oh yeah, and if you like spicy stuff, it's great with a couple shakes of tobasco!

The Magical Fruit

2008-11-20T06:00:00.002-06:00

This bean 'n' noodle play box was inspired by the awesome "roni tub" featured over at Two Lines on a Stick. I wanted to use macaroni, but I was lazy and impatient, so I just used what I had on hand: A decorative cardboard box with a lid, a bunch of open half-full bags of dry beans that have been sitting in my cupboard for an eternity, and a bag of egg noodles. What I had didn't fill the box very full, so I think I'll add more beans or some macaroni to it later.

As I was pouring the beans into the box, I thought to myself, "This could be a bad idea." I envisioned Scout dumping the whole box onto the floor. I know it would be relatively easy to sweep up, but then tufts of dog hair, dirt, and fuzz would be intermingled with the beans and noodles and that would just not be cool. I decided I would chance it anyway. I knew Scout would love it and I was hoping I could prevent any bean-splosions with close supervision.

She loves it and thankfully, hasn't made a huge mess with it yet. I did sit beside her the whole time, serving as the bean police, but she wasn't as wild with them as I thought she'd be. She got a little rambunctious a couple times and we had a few accidental wayward beans and noodles, but that was no big deal. I think with time, I will be able to step away and let her play by herself. But for now, I'll sit there and enjoy scooping, stirring, and sifting too!

Hush, Little Baby

2008-11-18T21:38:00.007-06:00

Have you ever held one of those water baby dolls? Without their clothes on, they're not very snuggly at all. But that's what Scout wanted to snuggle with last night after I unlatched her from my breast and tried to sneak out of her room. She started crying. It was a distraught and sad cry. Somewhere in the sobs, she managed to get out the words "Baby...Baby!" Right away, I knew that she wanted the plasticky, naked, water baby doll that I had tossed at the foot of the bed after I thought she was asleep. She stopped crying immediately after I placed the cold, rubbery doll in the crook of her arm....then rolled over and went to sleep.

Fast forward to 4:21 AM, as I am sitting here typing this. I think it was around 3:00 when I heard Scout standing at her baby gate fussing for me. I had to pee SO SO SO bad, but she was getting really upset and I would have had to walk right past her to go to the bathroom. So I ignored my screaming bladder and went straight to her room to try to nurse her back to sleep. I sat on the floor, nursing her on my lap, while wriggling my toes wildly, trying to hold back the pee. She seemed to be falling asleep, so I laid her in bed with her still latched on. She rolled over and squirmed for a while and as I was rubbing her back and patting her bottom, I just couldn't take it anymore - I HAD to use the bathroom. She wasn't quite asleep when I got up and quickly darted out of the room. I tried to be quiet while opening the door and and stepping over the gate, but it was too late. She knew I had left the room and screamed the whole time I was on the toilet. I was so frustrated because I KNOW that if I would have just been able to quietly pat her on the back for a few more minutes, she would have fallen asleep and I would have been able to leave the room and go back to bed. But no. Stupid bladder. Maybe I should have just freakin' peed my pants.

***********************

I went back in to calm her down. I tried nursing her again. And again, I think she was on the brink of sleep when I got a stupid tickle in the back of my throat (I am fighting a yucky cold that has made its way into my chest) and I couldn't help it...I coughed LOUD. It woke her up out of the semi-sleep she was in. I have no idea what time it was at that point. I was about to pull my hair out.

She squirmed and tried to get off the bed for a long time, while I just continued to try to comfort her. We nursed a couple more times. I was getting angrier and angrier as her razor-sharp finger nails scraped against my skin. (she kneads my chest and fiddles around with my neck and hair as she's falling asleep while nursing sometimes. It normally doesn't bother me, but her long little nails were about to make me insane!!) Somewhere in the squirming and rolling around on the bed, she managed to kick me in the head really hard twice and fart in my face.

She is finally back to sleep. And me? I am wide awake, drinking some apple juice and typing a stupid blog post. My throat really hurts and I feel like I have junk in my lungs that needs to come out. Laying down only makes it worse. I'd better force myself to go to sleep because DH's alarm goes off at 6:30 AM and I need to pack his lunch and make his breakfast. He's been having to do it himself a lot lately because of Scout's wacky sleep and whiney clinginess in the morning. I dunno. The way I'm feeling now, he may be on his own again. Poor guy.

Scout, good thing you're so adorable, 'cause otherwise I wouldn't be able to take the sleep madness that you throw at me.

Fur Ball

2008-11-18T08:00:00.002-06:00

Here's a funny little Scout-ism that I wanted to write down before I forget...
I vacuumed the living room yesterday after about 2 (or maybe 3) weeks of totally neglecting the floors. I know, I'm horrible. A couple hours after I emptied the vacuum canister into the trash, Scout ran over to the trash can to throw a little wadded up sticker or something away. When she opened the lid, she saw the giant ball of dirt and dog hair and exclaimed, "Kitty"!! (well, she actually said "T1tty", but she meant kitty. LOL) I tried to tell her that there was NOT a kitty in the trash can, but she wouldn't believe me. She kept going over to the trash and opening the lid to peek at the "kitty". She eventually got distracted and forgot about the kitty in the trash can for a while, but went back to it shortly before she went to bed to let me know that the kitty was still in there. Hee hee :)

Straight Talk

2008-11-18T01:22:00.005-06:00

I forgot to post pics from our little outing to the park the other day. It was unseasonably warm, so we hung out for a long time at a park that's about 35 minutes from our house while I waited for a resale shop to look at some of Scout's old clothes. I'll just post one of my favorites and you can look at the rest HERE if you wanna.

Scout loves to swing so much! I feel bad that we don't have a swing in our yard for her. Maybe that's something mommy and daddy can get for her birthday in the Spring. When we were at the park, I would guide her over to the big fun jungle gym and within 5 minutes, she would be running full force over to the swings again. I've gotta get her saying "swing" on video. She moves her arms back and forth like she's swinging and shouts "Weeeen!"

A weird observation from the swings: There was a little boy of maybe 3 years of age who wanted to swing on the same swing Scout was on. He whined, "But daddy, I want THAT one!!", to which his father replied, "Oh you don't want that one! It doesn't swing as high. That swing is not nearly as good as this one. This swing over here is for big boys, not babies" (the swing he was trying to sell his son on was the same exact type of swing Scout was on, btw)

I wondered to myself why the dad didn't just say something like, "That little girl is taking her turn in that swing right now, but maybe when she's done you can ride on it. While we're waiting, do you want to swing on this swing over here?" It seemed like a good opportunity to teach about taking turns. I'm not sure why he had to come up with some elaborate lie about the swing not swinging as high as the cool big boy swing or whatever. I mean, I know how it is to want to avoid meltdowns. I guess I can't fault the guy for that. But I just want this encounter to stick in my head to remind me that simple honesty really is the best policy when it comes to teaching kids. I can't help but think that the little boy saw right through the line of garbage his daddy was trying to feed him just to keep him happy. Kids are smart and know when we're trying to pull a fast one on them!

No Shopping! Yippee!

2008-11-17T15:44:00.003-06:00

Preschool was fun today. I think my snack went over well. I was drawing a blank with some of the mommies' names the whole time and I was too embarrassed to ask what their names were. I would have, except we are past that whole, "I didn't catch your name" or "Remind me again what your name is" point. I feel like it would be rude to ask now because I should know. Luckily, there's a little message board group dealie online for the co-op, so I can get on and jog my memory. Of course now that I'm home, all the names are coming back to me. I wish I was better with names. I could remember most of the kids' names, so at least I had that going for me. Scout was having a really tough time sharing today. She's usually not like that. And I noticed that she has picked up a bad habit from me. She now says "Mm-m!" (a closed-mouth "Uh-uh"), like I do when I'm telling her not to do something. If someone was playing with one of her toys, she would walk toward them pointing and saying "Mm-m!". (Sigh) She used to be so sweet.

It took me a LONG time to get her down for a nap today. When I tried rubbing her back when I laid her down on the bad, she woke up and started pushing me away and saying "Mm-m!" Oh gees. So we struggled for a while and I gave up. She played for another 2 hours and I finally was able to get her to sleep.

I was supposed to get groceries today, but I didn't want to stay "in town" to grocery shop after our preschool group, for fear that Scout would end up with a crappy 30 minute nap in the car. DH volunteered to do the shopping on the way home from work so I wouldn't have to waste gas driving back into town after Scout's nap. What a trooper. I feel bad, 'cause I know he'll probably be so tired after work and won't want to brave the crowded store. I e-mailed him a list, so I hope that helps. I'm sure shopping will take him half as long as it takes me, since he won't have an impatient/restless toddler with him. When I take Scout shopping, I swear that we end up with 10 packages of open food when we get up to the check-out because I have to keep her happy with crackers, cheese, lunchmeat, and even yogurt. Doesn't matter if we just had lunch. She's still got to snack the entire time. I love trying to feed a toddler yogurt, pushing the cart through a crowded store, all while trying to keep track of how much I'm spending using the calculator on my cell phone. And then Scout sees me playing with the phone and begs for it, so I have to be all stealth about it and hide the phone in the back of the cart when I'm not using it. Thank you, DH, for sparing me the frustration of shopping with Scout today. I really appreciate you.

Blah blah blah

2008-11-17T07:11:00.002-06:00

Night # 2 in the toddler bed went great! Scout slept all the way through the night. It was a bit of a challenge actually getting her to go to sleep, but once she was out, she was out. I moved her mattress out of the bedroom yesterday and that made room for her big toy bench and some other stuff, so instead of sitting in the floor to nurse her, I sat on the toy bench. It was much more comfortable than having to heave myself with babe in arms off the floor when it was time to lay her in the bed. She did wake up as soon as I put her in bed, despite my efforts to keep her latched on and nursing. Phooey. She squirmed and talked and tried to get off the bed, but I just kept talking softly to her and rubbing her back. She finally succumbed to the soft, circular sweeps across her back and legs and conked out. The whole process probably took me twice as long as putting her to bed on her old mattress....and there was a point last night when I was frustrated and wondering WHY I ever decided to introduce this change in the first place....but I think it'll be good in the long run. She's getting all relaxed and ready for bed with the nursing session, yet she's actually falling asleep just by the touch of my hand. It's definitely new frontier for us. I've been nursing her to sleep while laying next to her for so long, but I feel like she's ready and I'm ready for this little change.

What else is going on today? We're going to our preschool co-op this morning and I am the "snack parent". I'm bringing gluten free graham crackers (no one in our group has a wheat allergy that I know of, but someone gave us 3 boxes of the crackers and I figured I'd make good use of them) , sliced cheddar cheese, and grapes. I cut the grapes into quarters because I wasn't sure how all the other toddlers eat them. I usually half or quarter grapes for Scout, but I know of one 1.5-year-old in the group whose parents allow him to eat whole grapes (like, shoving 3 whole grapes in his mouth at once) and he seems to do fine. I hope the other parents in the group don't think I'm a paranoid freak for cutting the grapes so tiny. I just don't want anyone to get choked...especially while I'm the "snack parent":)

Wow. What an exciting life I lead. All I have to write about is my daughter's bed and how small I cut grapes.

Big Girl Bed

2008-11-15T22:12:00.005-06:00

So, we're trying out the toddler bed tonight. I just put Scout to bed and I'm astonished that she actually allowed me to transfer her from my lap where she was nursing, onto the toddler bed. Granted, I did lean over her after I transferred her to the bed and let her nurse for a few minutes until I could tell she was really asleep. That didn't feel very good on my back, but you mommies know how it is....anything to successfully get your little ones to sleep!

Up until now, Scout has been sleeping on a full size mattress (actually, a sleeper sofa mattress) on the floor. That has been her sleeping arrangement for a long time now and it has worked nicely. It has allowed me to lay next to her and nurse her to sleep and she is low enough to the ground that I don't have to worry about her falling off and getting injured. She has never slept in a crib because I never had much success transferring her from my lap to the crib after nursing her to sleep. That, and we had intended to co-sleep until Scout made it pretty clear very early on that she prefers to sleep alone.

I guess my reasons for wanting her to sleep in the toddler bed instead of the mattress on the floor aren't that important, but I figured I'd give it a shot anyway. For one thing, it takes up A LOT less space. Her room could be a nice place to play if there was more space in there. Another reason I wanted to try the toddler bed is that with winter coming, it is going to get a lot more drafty near the floor and something just seems unwise about having a little toddler sleeping on the cold and drafty floor. And finally, I'm thinking that it might be a good step in the transition between nursing to sleep and cuddling to sleep. I'm not in a hurry to wean her, but I wouldn't mind slowly moving in the direction of having her weaned from having to nurse to sleep.

So, back to tonight...

When I unlatched her and tried to sneak away, she kind of rolled toward me, causing her to be VERY close to the edge of the bed. There are side rails up toward the head of the bed, but she was laying pretty far down from the headboard, so I think she could still manage to fall out if she makes a wrong move. I put a couple pillows on the floor next to the bed and left the room. And now I'm typing this, just hoping and praying that she doesn't topple out. Not that she'll get hurt - the bed is fairly low to the ground - I just don't want her to be scared and then end up hating her toddler bed (not to mention, the chore of getting her back to sleep).

Here's hoping!

++++++++++++++++++++UPDATE++++++++++++++++++++

I guess last night was somewhat of a success. She did wake up fussing around 3 AM, so I went in her room, nursed her on my lap and put her back in bed. She seemed to be sound asleep, but as soon as I got back in my own bed, I heard her crying again. I went in to her room and nursed her again - this time, with her in the bed and me leaning over her. So not comfy for me. But it worked. I know that I heard her fuss a little again at some point, but she must have been whining in her sleep because she got quiet again super fast. At 8:00 AM, I peeked in on her and she was (and still is) sleeping on the floor next to her toddler bed. I'm not sure if she got down on her own or if she fell out. Hhhmmm.

What?

2008-11-14T07:15:00.001-06:00

Scout has a weird coloring book that totally cracks me up and I just had to share. It doesn't have a theme. The illustrations on each page are pretty random. There are puppies, dinosaurs, soccer players, flowers, and fish. Right smack in the middle of all those *somewhat* normal coloring pages is this page:

(Yes, I colored it. So what?)

I just had to giggle. Why is there a picture of a patient receiving physical therapy in the middle of a coloring book full of puppies and kitties? And why do Bobby the Physical Therapist and his patient have heads that look like baby dolls? Why do they look like they are falling in love? Why didn't I finish coloring the top right corner of the purple door?

Oh well. Anyway, the patient looks like he's on the road to recovery, so that's good.

Green Goatee

2008-11-13T09:39:00.003-06:00

Hi, my name is Scout. I love Chapstick. Even when it's not Chapstick....even when it's a green highlighter marker.

And just because I feel like I should post more than a picture, I'll try to think of something to blog about. Hhhmmm...Not much going on here today. I'm still in my jammies drinking coffee while Scout takes an early nap. I'm contemplating taking some of Scout's old clothes to one of those resale shops that buy used clothing later. I need some money to get my niece a birthday present. It sucks that we don't have a budget for birthdays and Christmas. We just seriously don't have any wiggle room in our budget for things like that. {sigh} Which brings me to thinking about Christmas. I'm thinking that I'd like to do a homemade Christmas for my family, but not sure what to make. And not sure where I'll find the time.

Wordless Wednesday

2008-11-12T07:00:00.000-06:00

Smartee Pants

2008-11-11T13:21:00.005-06:00

I think I've mentioned before that Scout can identify some shapes (circles, ovals, hearts, and triangles) and I think it's kinda cool that she can draw circles too (well, circle-esque figures, anyway). In this video, I prompt her to draw a circle, but she does it unprompted all the time and then brings her work to me, announcing what she drew. I think it's just precious. If I could, I'd save and frame every wobbly circle.

She has just started saying colors, but she doesn't regularly identify them. However, the other day, she brought her yellow shape sorter bucket to me and told me that it's "Lellow". I was pretty sure it was a fluke, since she didn't do it again after that one time. But then she surprised me in this video by telling me that her chalk was blue when I asked her what color it was. I tried quizzing her a little on colors this morning, and she just stared at me blankly. That's okay. There's no rush. She's only one and a half.

Circle and Blue from Unkempt Mommy on Vimeo

First Day of "School"

2008-11-10T16:52:00.005-06:00

Well, the prescho0l co-op thing went really well today. Scout had a great time exploring her surroundings and interacting with the other children. I love that it is more than just a play group - that there is story time, songs, snacks, and activities. Not that I think that kids can't learn a ton from simply having unstructured play time with each other. Obviously, playing is the backbone learning. But I think that sometimes kids also thrive on a little bit of structure too. I could see the excitement and pure joy in Scout's eyes when we all got in a circle to sing songs together. We sang some songs that she is already very familiar with ("If You're Happy and You Know It"..."Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes"..etc) so I think it made her feel good that she already knew some of the lyrics and hand motions. The person in charge of bringing the activity this week brought some plastic jars filled with colored water and oil and the kids had fun shaking those around and looking at how the liquid swirled. There was also a big plastic butter tub with a hole in the lid that the kids could pass around. They had a blast sticking their hands in and pulling out colorful fluffy little pom-pom balls. They tossed them up in the air, collected them and put them in different containers, and shoved them back into the butter container. The kids were also able to color with crayons and play with all the toys that each parent brought and dumped in the middle of the floor.

The class is held in a Sunday school classroom of a large church, so the tables and chairs are just the right size for the kids. This is something kind of insignificant, but I noticed as Scout helped herself at the snack table, I couldn't help but see that she looked so pleased to be spooning her own apples and raisins onto her plate. She was looking around at the other toddlers who were doing the same thing and I was imagining that she was probably thinking to herself, "This is a buffet just for us...and we're allowed to touch the spoons and cups and shovel crackers by the fistful onto our plates if we want to!" Okay, maybe I'm reading a little too much into that moment. But I guess I'm just trying to say that I think the way the class was set up fosters her desire for independence, and I like that. And in the same breath, I can say that it also fosters her need for dependence because she can come sit on my lap or hide behind me while peeking through my legs at the other children if she's feeling shy.

There were 5 or 6 other children in our class and their birthdays are all within just a few months of each other. While Scout does have a couple friends around her age at our church, she has never gotten to play with so many children her own age at one time and I could tell that she thought it was pretty cool.

My fears of feeling like a reject around the other parents were unfounded. I got along great with everyone there. They all seemed super friendly and easy to talk to. After all, no matter what our differences may be, we all have a common bond: a desire to provide our toddlers with some fun educational playtime!

Pre-preschool

2008-11-07T14:24:00.006-06:00

Scout has gone to her Sunday school class at church a few times and seemed to (mostly) be alright with mommy and daddy not being there. I let her cry one time when I left the class and stood outside to listen and make sure she calmed down. She did stop crying pretty quickly and the teacher said she ended up having a great time, but I still did not like doing it that way. Last week, I stayed in the class with her (the teacher said that parents are welcome to stay, which I am thankful for) because she was being especially clingy and I just felt like she needed me. This morning, DH took her to Sunday school and it took a couple tries before she was finally okay with him leaving.

I think it's very natural for children her age not to want to be separated from their parents. I can't help but think it's a survival device - that they are hardwired to want to be with their parents (particularly mommy) so that if another adult tries to steal them or they wander too far away, their instinct is to scream bloody murder. I have no scientific basis for this theory...it's just an idea that someone shared with me once and it made sense to me. It seems like there is a REASON why all toddlers suffer from separation anxiety at some point and I don't necessarily think it's a bad thing that we have to "break" them of.

That said, I still like the concept of SLOWLY introducing Scout to the idea that it's okay to be under the supervision of trusted adults that aren't mommy and daddy....that I can leave the room and she can still feel safe and have fun, knowing that if she needs an adult, there's one there. I'm not in a big hurry to force it on her, though.

I'm excited, because it seems like a perfect opportunity has come along for me to do that! Scout and I are joining a preschool co-op and our first "class" is tomorrow (actually, it's a "pre" preschool co-op, as it is for children ages 1-4). From what I understand, there is a different activity every week, a snack, and a large chunk of time for free play. In the 1-2 year old group, all the mommies (or daddies) stay in the class room with their children. As the children get older and closer to school-age, 3 parents stay in the class with the children and the other parents are free to leave the class but remain in the building if they wish. The parents don't have to leave the class if they feel their child isn't ready or just needs them to stay that particular day. I think it sounds like a wonderful way to prepare a child for preschool. It's especially handy for mommies like me, who don't work (outside the home) and spend pretty much 24/7 with their toddlers. Scout doesn't spend the day with grandparents and is rarely left with a babysitter, so the idea of just dropping her off at preschool when she's 3 or 4 sounds like it could potentially be a very traumatic experience.

Maybe I don't have to worry about that, since DH and I are considering homeschooling Scout, but I still think the pre-preschool co-op will be a good way for Scout to get out and play with other children and for me to meet other mommies.

I'm excited and nervous all at the same time. It's always nerve wracking going into a situation where everyone knows each other....to figure out how the group dynamic works and try to fit into it somehow. I'm nervous that our parenting styles won't mesh or that I just won't hit it off right away with every mommy there. I like to think I'm a fairly confident person, but I'll admit that sometimes I find it intimidating to be around a bunch of other moms.

Wish me luck!

Halloween

2008-11-03T07:59:00.005-06:00

Well, the Halloween party I was stressing over went pretty well. Scout seemed like she was feeling a lot better on Friday, so I was able to run the errands I needed to and I got the party set up. At about 4:00 though, she was rubbing her eyes and whining "Seep, seep", so I knew that the poor child needed a nap. (I was counting on her sleeping in the car while I ran my errands, but that didn't happen) I don't think she was feeling quite 100% yet, so I did not want to deprive her of a much needed nap. BUT we were up at the church scurrying to get the party set up at the time, so I couldn't just leave to put her down for a nap. I called the Pastor's wife and told her my dilemma. She wasn't able to come help me, so she suggested I call another lady we go to church with who doesn't work and wouldn't mind sitting at my house while Scout napped and I set the rest of the party up. So that's what I did.....only after all that, and having the lady meet me at my house to stay with Scout, my little stinker WOULD NOT NAP!!! So we all went back up to the church and finished getting the party ready. I was really glad to have that sweet lady's help. I don't think I could have gotten it all set up without her.

There was a pretty good turnout and all the kids seemed like they had a good time. Scout had more sugar that night than she has EVER had. She had her very first lollipop, which she thought was the coolest thing ever. She had a great time running around like a crazed maniac with all the other sugared-up kids. Her face and hands were so sticky by the end of the night, I thought I was going to have to hose her down.

The mess that the party left behind was not very fun to clean up. But I was so blessed that one of the moms at the party offered to meet me up at the church at 10:00 on Saturday morning to get everything cleaned up and put back together. DH and Scout hung out and played at home for 2 hours while my friend and I were sweeping hay and candy wrappers off the sanctuary floor and moving a million heavy chairs.

All in all, I would call it a success. I was too busy to get any pictures, but I do have a couple pics of Scout dressed up in her costume from another evening:

Her little cat face seems over-stuffed or something, so it laid kind of funny on her head. Oh well. Not bad for a borrowed costume that required zero effort.

Stressin'

2008-10-31T09:23:00.003-05:00

Scout has been running a fever on and off and has been INSANELY cranky for the past couple days. She wants to be held all the time and isn't even happy when I hold her - she squirms and wants everything and nothing all at once. Do you want your drink? No. Your baby? Your blanket? A snack? A video? Want to go outside? Want to nurse? No. No. No. No. No. Nothing is making this child happy. She will sometimes scream and scream to the point of making herself gag for a half hour straight, despite my efforts to comfort her. Her poor little nose is running like crazy, she is drooling uncontrollably, and she is sticking her entire hand in her mouth all the time. I'm pretty sure this little bout of sickness is being caused by teething. A friend of mine said that her son did the exact same thing on and off for 2 weeks when he was cutting his canines (which, she is). Great. Two weeks of this? I can only hope that she gets over it a lot faster than her little friend.

It couldn't have come at a worse time. I am trying to plan the Halloween party for the little kids at church and it is super hard to do with a sick toddler that won't tolerate being put down. I somehow managed to get most of the treat bags filled, all the games planned, all the prizes wrapped, and borrowed some decorations from someone. After I put Scout to bed last night, I went and picked up the decorations and was headed down to the church to set everything up because I knew it might be my only chance if Scout was going to have another fevery screamfest today. Matt called before I even pulled into the church parking lot to tell me that Scout was up again. When I got home, she was screaming. It took me forever to get her settled down. It was 12:30 by the time was even able to sneak out of her room. I went to bed and she was up again at 1:30....and again at 3:00. {AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!} I am giving her teething tablets and baby Motrin every now and then to try to relieve the pain. It seems to only take the edge off a little.

Now, the church is NOT decorated and the party is not set up. Scout's still asleep, so I'm not sure if today is going to be another day like yesterday or not. If it is, I have NO CLUE how I'm going to get the party (which starts at 5:30 PM) set up. I still have a few things I need to pick up from the dollar store to finish the treat bags and I need to pick up some flannel shirts and stuff from a friend for the scarecrow relay race. I can't leave the house with a fevery screaming miserable toddler. Just not possible.

If there is no way for me to leave the house today, the only person who will be able to set it all up and take over for me is the Pastor's wife. I REALLY hate for her to have to do that. She has a million things going on right now and the whole reason she had me throw this party is so that she could focus on other things that need her attention right now. She has been the jack-of-all-trades to our church for so long...youth minister, secretary, janitor, marriage counselor...the list goes on. She knows that she needs to delegate some of the responsibilities to others. She's finally doing that and here, I am going to stick her with the kids' Halloween party. Uughh. I know she'll understand, but I just really wanted to do this for her, ya know?

Here's hoping I can get it all done while taking good care of my poor illin' baby!

Candy!

2008-10-30T06:22:00.002-05:00

What my kitchen table looked like yesterday while stuffing treat bags for church Halloween party...

I was proud of myself - I only ate 3 pieces of candy and kept track of exactly how many points they were (I'm back to writing down my Weight Watchers points). I'm going to need to use some serious self control at the party on Friday, though. Brownies...cupcakes...candy...oh gees.

Eating My Words, Once Again

2008-10-28T09:16:00.011-05:00

Tuesday night was probably one of the worst nights that Scout has ever had, sleep wise. (barring the few times she's been sick) She was up from 1:00 AM-2:00 AM, then again from 3:30 AM-6:00 AM.....and then she was up for the day at 8:15 AM. She only took a half hour nap in her bed and then slept for another 20 minutes in the car while we were running errands. I hate this erratic sleep! I assume it's teething, since her canines are finally breaking through. But each time she woke up, she didn't seem too upset or in pain. She just would not calm down and go back to sleep and kept asking to watch her videos.

Oh Lord, the videos....

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Her love for kids' videos has gotten out of control. I went from saying that I was not going to let her watch t.v. until she turned two, to letting her watch a few Baby Einstein videos when I had to keep her still to clip her fingernails or brush her hair. But she always felt pretty indifferent about them. If we went a week or two without turning a video on, she didn't even notice.

A few weeks ago, she started begging to watch her videos ALL. THE. TIME. I do let her watch one in the morning and one in the afternoon, but I try to limit it to just that. It's tough though, because she gets EXTREMELY upset if I don't let her watch a video when she asks. I try to offer alternatives - we play, we color, we go outside - but if she is not occupied for just one second, she immediately goes back to begging for her videos again.

She has 3 Baby Einstein videos: Discovering Shapes, First Signs, and an old VHS tape called Baby Dolittle. I have also picked up some Blue's Clues, Sesame Street, and (gulp) Barney VHS tapes at thrift stores - mainly because I am so sick of watching the 3 Baby Einstein videos over and over again. But she doesn't seem very interested in anything that's not Baby Einstein. I guess I should be thankful for that.

I am aware of the study that says videos like Baby Einstein actually diminish babies' vocabularies, and that is why it bothers me so much that she wants to watch them all the time. I never thought I would be plopping my toddler down in front of the t.v. twice a day, watching her totally zone out while she stares wide-eyed at the screen.

But I cannot deny that the videos have actually enhanced her understanding of certain words and ideas. The other night, she was sitting on my lap at the kitchen table and we were coloring all over a sale ad. (I guess that stupid junk mail is good for something after all :) There was an ad for dinnerware and I traced around a little oval platter with a red crayon. She immediately pointed to it and said, "Ozul!" And then she went on to point out ALL the ovals on the page. While I have been teaching her shapes myself lately, I haven't really been focusing ovals. I foolishly assumed that the similarities between ovals and circles would confuse her at this age. Usually, I point out circles, squares, and triangles, just to keep it simple. She obviously learned what an oval is from the Baby Einstein Discovering Shapes video. I don't know what is "normal" for a 1.5-year-old, but I personally think it's impressive that Scout can recognize and say 3 shapes now. She knows circles, ovals, and hearts. Last night she did try to say "triangle" (it came out something like "kaigle") while she was watching the video, although I'm not sure if she can pick a triangle out of a shape line-up and identify it yet.

That is just one of many examples of things she has learned from her precious videos. I can tell that she truly enjoys watching them and feels proud of herself when she points to the screen and identifies an object correctly. I usually try to sit down with her while she's watching so I can interact with her and talk about what we're watching. We laugh and clap and sing together and I love to cuddle with her while she's sitting still on my lap. Of course, I won't pretend that I haven't used her time in front of the video to wash my hair or get dressed or unload the dishwasher. Sometimes it's just nice to have that extra few minutes to get things done. Is that bad? I don't know. But it works for me and my toddler seems as smart as a whip despite me using the t.v. as a babysitter on rare occasions. Meh.

I guess for now, I'll just keep trying to limit her time in front of the boob tube and encourage her to want to do other things throughout the day. I might be more worried about it if she had a small vocabulary, but this child is a talking machine! So much for having a t.v. free toddler. I guess that was a nice idea while it lasted.

Who put ME in charge, anyway?

2008-10-27T07:34:00.003-05:00

I was chosen to head up a Halloween party for the toddlers and elementary school kids at church and I'm both excited and a little nervous about it. The Pastor's wife called me on Saturday and asked if I would plan the whole thing and get a crew of adults together to help me. As of now, I have no idea what my budget is (I forgot to ask), but I'm supposed to go shopping with her sometime this week for supplies.

The only part I don't like about it is having to ask people to help. It's going to be on Friday night, which is Halloween, so I know a lot of parents with little ones probably already have plans to go Trick or Treating. I'm thinking since the party was just announced to the congregation on Sunday, that many parents will either not be able to bring their kids, or they will stop by sometime after Trick or Treat. (What can I say...our church always seems to be last-minute with stuff like this) The teens and some of the adults are all going to be down the road at our youth building, putting on a "House of Ch0ices" (a sort of haunted house), so that also puts limits on who I'm able to ask for help. I ended up asking 5 people last night - 5 ladies whose kids are already grown, so I figured I wouldn't be ruining their Halloween plans by asking them. 3 of them said "maybe", and 2 of them actually gave me a definite "yes". I'll probably need more help than that, and I am dreading going through my phone numbers today so I can call and beg more people to spend their entire Friday night with a bunch of rambunctious kiddos. {Sigh}

So far, I have a few ideas for games:

Scarecrow Relay Race: I'm going to build a couple scarecrows out of 5 gallon buckets filled with rocks, broomsticks, newspaper, pillowcases, and clothes hangers, and then have the kids break up into 2 teams and have a race to see which team can dress their scarecrow the fastest.

Painting Mini Pumpkins: Yeah, pretty self explanatory.

Turkey in the Straw: Fill a kiddie pool with straw and hide a little plastic turkey in it. First kid to find it wins a prize.

Candy Corn Jar: Fill a jar with candy corn and have the kids guess how many pieces there are.

That's pretty much all I got. And I'm kind of stumped as to what to do with the toddlers while all the older kids are playing these games. I want them to have something fun to do too, but I don't want the activity to get super messy because I figure the parents won't want their kids' costumes to get ruined. Hhhmmmm.

I also need to think about what kind of prizes we should give away for the winners of the games.

Whew! I definitely need to sit down and ponder this some more!

She needs a cape and a theme song!

2008-10-24T13:26:00.004-05:00

My friend had her second baby a couple weeks ago. I swear - she is friggin' Wonder Woman!! This girl taught a kickboxing class through half of her pregnancy (until her doc told her to stop), while working on her feet 3 days a week as a surgical assistant, all while being an awesome mommy to her almost 2-year-old son. SIX DAYS after her baby girl was born, she called me and left a voicemail, asking if Scout and I wanted to come over so Scout and her toddler son could play together....and then said that if I had any errands I needed to run or if I just wanted some time to myself, I could drop Scout off to play instead of staying. She said she'd be happy to babysit. I was like....What?? Girl, you are crazy!

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When we went over to her house that day, (of course, I stayed to visit - no way was I going to just dump my toddler off at her house right after she had a baby!!) she was so full of energy and extremely cheerful. Her house was clean and organized. Her newborn was happy and so was her toddler. She was a gracious hostess and cooked all of us lunch. She refilled my tea for me, for goodness sakes! She walked around the house w/ her newborn latched on to her breast as she tended to her toddler, like it was no big thang. I couldn't believe that this woman was 6 days post-partum and was so......together! Despite my rather sunny blog post, I was actually a worn-out mess that was stressed out about breastfeeding and felt like a complete zombie at day six. A happy zombie, but a zombie nonetheless. I remember feeling like I'd never be able to cook or clean or do laundry again because I was too busy breastfeeding every second of every day. I know they say it gets easier with your second baby....but does it really get THAT much easier?

She invited us over again this week. (our toddlers absolutely LOVE each other and BEG to play with each other all the time - it's so cute!) Again, she extended the offer for me to drop Scout off if I didn't have time to hang out with them. I laughed at her again and told her that I'd rather just hang out and have some adult interaction with her. We're headed over to her house as soon as Scout gets up from her nap today. Scout is so excited about the play date - she actually understood me when I told her that we are going over there to play later today and started clapping and running around the house, screaming her little friend's name!

I guess this post doesn't really have a point. I just wanted to share my astonishment at how absolutely put together this woman is. And if she isn't as well put together as she appears, she sure puts on one heck of a show! Wow!

Evolution of a Word

2008-10-24T12:14:00.003-05:00

The way babies learn to speak is such an interesting process. Watching Scout grow and learn new words is so amazing. I love watching the gears in her brain spin as she tries to figure it all out.

Last week, the word "Blanket" was "Beaner".
A couple days ago, it was "Bean-c0ck".
Now it is "Mean-cup" (big emphasis on the "P").
I wonder how she'll say it tomorrow. I know one day she'll get it right and I'll be proud, but I never want to forget how cute she sounded running through the house, calling for her lost "bean-c0ck".

Speaking of "cute", I think she actually understands what it means. Is that possible? It just seems like she's too young to be understanding abstract ideas like that, but I swear she has been using it in the correct context these last few days. Yesterday when we got out of the van after running errands, she spotted the neighbor's cat. She LOVES cats. She immediately started running toward it, yelling "T1tty! T1tty!" (that's how she says "Kitty", of course) and then turned to me with a huge smile on her face and said "T1tty cute!"

Yesterday and today, she has been coming up to me, pointing at herself, and saying "Cute!" and she isn't satisfied until I agree and say, "Yes, Scout. You are VERY cute!"

This morning when I put her down for a nap, she insisted on bringing her ugly doll to bed. She snuggled it in her arms, gave it a kiss on the lips, looked at its creepy weird face lovingly and sighed "Cute".

So sick of it!

2008-10-22T10:32:00.004-05:00

I am usually the least politically-minded person ever. That's probably not something to be proud of. I know I should take more of an interest in my government and world current events. I know I should make more of an effort to educate myself about politicians and their platforms, but I guess I'm just lazy like that. And frankly, the current presidential election is making me hate politics even more than I already did.

I know this much, though:

Both presidential candidates and their running mates should be absolutely ASHAMED of the amount of mud slinging that has been done throughout their campaigns. I can't hear a word they're saying over all the opponent-bashing going on. It doesn't help matters that every time I watch a debate or interview, the candidates' mud slinging remarks are fact-checked by the network's political news anchors, who point out all the false statements on the "after show". The amount of exaggerations and lies that both presidential candidates tell about one another is sickening. I don't know what to believe. Neither of them seem very trust-worthy to me.

In my humble opinion, there should be strict rules against mud slinging in political campaigns. Each candidate should simply talk about THEIR OWN platforms....THEIR OWN thoughts and views and plans...not their opponents. And then if the news media wants to go behind each candidate's statements and fact-check them, so be it. All the negativity does not help the American people make educated decisions about who to vote for. It just clouds everything up and makes them ALL look like lying weasles.

When I was complaining to DH about how confusing it is to choose which candidate to vote for, he made the point that we don't have to vote for either of them. We could write in a name on the ballot or vote for whatever no-name green Party or Independent people are running. I hadn't considered that option. Essentially, I'd be throwing my vote away, but at this point I wouldn't care. The Republican and Democratic party candidates have not won my trust. If I vote for either of them, I feel that I will be voting for the lesser of two evils. But then, I guess that's all voting ever is.

Wordless Wednesday

2008-10-15T09:10:00.002-05:00

A Budding Mommy and Artist

2008-10-14T09:01:00.004-05:00

Scout is really into baby dolls now. Actually, she's just into this one super ugly and dirty baby doll we brought home from a thrift store because she wouldn't let it go when it was time to check out. It has no clothes and has the weirdest shaped body, but it has become her favorite. My grandma taught her how to wrap the baby up in a receiving blanket, and Scout does a pretty darn good job for a 1.5-year-old! She spends forever trying to smooth the blanket out on the floor, chucks the baby onto the blanket, and then rolls the baby up. She then picks the baby up (upside down, most of the time) and pats her lovingly on the back. Sometimes she waves to the baby and says "Nigh-night" and then hurls her back onto the couch or floor. I love watching her play like that. I love it that she has an imagination now. A few times, I have seen her lay the baby onto the floor and then lay on top of her. She'll be really quiet and still for a long time and then walk away while telling the baby nigh-night. I'm pretty sure she's pretending to nurse the baby when she does this....mimicking our bedtime routine (only I usually lay BESIDE Scout when I'm nursing her to sleep, not on top of her LOL).

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And while I'm on the subject of cool things that Scout can do, would you believe that she knows how to draw circles??? I am not joking. For a long time now, I have pointed out circles to her. If I see something that is shaped like a circle, I will tell her it's a circle and sometimes I'll make a circle motion with my finger in the air. Then when she started scribbling with crayons, I showed her how to draw a circle. Almost every time she sits down to color, I draw circles and tell her what they are. So now, when I say, "Can you draw a circle?" she makes a circular motion with the crayon or chalk and ends up making something that actually looks more like an oval. But dang, I'm impressed. Do 1.5-year-olds usually know how to draw a shape when asked?? Yesterday, she pointed to DH's Wii Rock Band drum set and made a circle shape in the air with her finger. My little baby is learning shapes!

Losing Track

2008-10-05T23:49:00.010-05:00

When do you stop keeping track of the words your toddler knows? I've always been able to tell people which words Scout knows, but lately, it's been too hard to keep them all straight.

I posted all of the words she knew as of her 17 month birthday, but there have been so many words added to her vocabulary since then.

This might be my last attempt at trying to log all of the words she knows. If she keeps up this pace, she'll be reciting the dictionary cover to cover in like a week and a half.

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Adding to her already large vocabulary....

Meow
Nurse ("Nulse")
Bow (as in, her hair clips)
Peanut Butter ("Buggle")
Juice ("Deuce")
Car ("Kerrr" .... like she's a gangsta rapper or something)
Kitty ("Titty" hee hee :)
Bed
Video ("Sisseo")
Shoe ("Seeoooo")
Tiger
Cook
Apple ("App-um")
Phone ("Syone")
Cracker ("Cackle")
Towel
All Done ("Nunn")
Turkey
Teeth
Eyes
Nose
Mouth
Ear
Hair
Hands ("Ents")
Cookie
Lemon ("Memmon")
Pumpkin ("Munnin")
More ("Moe")
Pretty ("Pitty")
Potty (She already knew this one, but now instead of saying "Pah-pah", she actually pronounces it perfectly)
Poopy
Boobie
Hoo-ha (the word we use for vagina LOL)
Boo-boo
Motorcycle (She leaves off the "motor" part, but she says "Cycle" or "Kycle" every time she hears a motorcycle. And then she says "Mmm!Mmm!", like she's revving an engine. DH also taught her to hold our her fists like she's holding onto handlebars while flicking her wrist to start an imaginary motor. It's insanely cute. I'm not sure where this child's obsession with motorcycles came from. DH does own a scooter and an old '80's moped, but they're not exactly hogs! If she still has this odd fixation on big loud choppers when she's a teenager, I'm in big trouble.)

Until very recently, the only animal sounds she would make were "moo" and "hoohoo-haha". But now she snorts like a pig (or like the rhinoceroses in Moo, Baa, La La La), growls like a lion/tiger, baas like a sheep, meows like a cat, barks like a dog, hoots like an owl, and neighs like a horse.

I'm sure I'm forgetting a bunch of words, but it's just too tough to keep track nowadays. And even though she knows how to communicate what she wants very well most of the time, she still manages to find reasons to throw lots and lots of tantrums. Sheesh.

Busy, Busy!

2008-10-03T13:34:00.004-05:00

Sorry guys......My mom and grandma are here visiting right now, so I haven't had a whole lot of time to get on the computer to do any blogging. I had to come home from the craft fair and leave my mom and g-ma to man our booth so I could lay Scout down for a nap just now, so I have a little time to post some pics of what's been going on.

Even though Scout hasn't seen my mom in 5 months, she warmed up to her right away. She tries to call her "Nana" (what my moms other grand kids call her), but it comes out "Neena". It's so cute. This is how Scout greeted my mom when they first arrived on Monday afternoon:

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My mom brought Scout all kinds of goodies, including a giant storage tote FULL of brand new clothes that will fit her next spring and summer (my mom is the queen of clearance shopping), a Step 2 play gym, a pink wooden play kitchen, and a Little Tikes wagon. Here's my little sweetie enjoying the ride:

"Neena" and "Maw-maw" have enjoyed being here to see all the parts of Scout's everyday life. They just beam with joy as they watch her doing everything from eating her oatmeal, to climbing on the couch, to taking a bath. I had fun snapping some pics of my little fish after my mom and I gave her a cool new soapy hairdo:

And finally, here are pics of some of the diaper/wipes clutches I made for the craft fair:

I had fun making them, but most of them are not really my "style". My favorite is the red polka dot with the blue bird. But I had to make some that would appeal more to the folks in my small rural community. I'm not sure if I accomplished that or not, seeing as how none of them have sold yet. LOL :)

Crunch Time

2008-09-26T13:34:00.006-05:00

My mommy and my grandma are going to drive down to visit us next week and I'm so excited! Actually, they'll be leaving from my hometown up North on Sunday and then they'll get here sometime Monday afternoon. It's a 900 mile drive, so it'll be much easier on them to split it up into 2 days of driving. My mom is loading up her big red truck (probably as we speak) full of crafty items that she's been making over the last several months because we rented a booth at the local craft festival that's happening a block from my house in a week and a half. We've been planning this for months and I JUST NOW started making things for the booth. That's right, folks. I am the queen of procrastination. Actually, it's not that I haven't had the desire to sew. I just haven't made the time. I'm always so behind on my house work and busy taking care of Scout, that I can never justify taking time to get out my craft supplies and make another mess. Well, since the cleaning lady came on Tuesday, I've been doing a pretty decent job of maintaining the order around here, so I didn't feel bad about dragging my sewing stuff out today during Scout's nap. I made a little credit card pouch with an appliqued bird. The stitching is a bit wonky, so I'll just keep it for myself. LOL :) I hope I can crank out several more of these, as well as some bags and change purses before the fair.

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It just so happens that yesterday while Scout and I were taking a walk around the neighborhood, I popped into a local thrift store and found a gigantic pile of vintage fabric. Looks like a lot of it dates back to the 70's. I grabbed up all I could carry. I just couldn't help myself. It was 50 cents a yard and I bought $21.50 worth of that retro textile goodness.

Nuthin' Special - Graham Cracker Treat

2008-09-26T10:14:00.004-05:00

Scout usually has toast w/ eggs or oatmeal w/ eggs for breakfast. But this morning, I wanted something sweet with my coffee, so I made us some strawberry banana graham crackers. I just spread some cream cheese on a plain ol' graham cracker and added strawberry all-fruit spread and banana slices. Simple, cheap, and yummy. Scout likes them too. She also thought the cream cheese would make a great moisturizing leave-in hair treatment.

Dear Random Dad at the Park,

2008-09-24T21:51:00.005-05:00

Please, for the love of everything good and holy, have some common sense. When my toddler is running to your toddler's sippy cup that is sitting on the ground by the slide, DO NOT pick it up, open the spout and hand it to her while chuckling and saying "Aw...you want some? Here ya go".

That is not cool AT ALL.

When I first saw you pick up the cup while smiling and opening the spout I really thought you were KIDDING around. If I would've known that you were being completely serious and actually going to hand my child your child's cup, (hello, we're COMPLETE STRANGERS!) I would have run a lot faster to get it out of her hands. Unfortunately, it did make it to her lips for a brief second before I got to her and told you "No, she can't have that". That really sucks. The next time you do that, don't look so puzzled when the child's parent looks at you like you're crazy and takes their child someplace else to play. Just so you know, it is NOT okay to share like that. I know you were trying to be nice, but drinks are not for sharing with strangers. You're at least 30. How did you miss that little tidbit of info along the way?

Sincerely,
Woman at the park who doesn't know whether or not your kid has cooties.

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Okay, now that I have that little gripe out of the way, onto a few pics of my darling girl exploring the playground. Poor thing kept tripping over the barriers surrounding the wood-chipped play areas. She ended up with a pretty yucky bump/road rash on her forehead. Hey, at least she held on to her hamburger as she was falling. Man, she had a kung fu grip on that thing. She may not have gotten such a nasty bump had she dropped the burger and braced herself for the fall. Silly burger-lovin' girl.

I think this is the only pic where you can kind of see her bump-on-the-noggin. Apparently, hitting her head transformed her into a chill pimp who walks with a gangsta limp to the tune of Stayin' Alive.... or so this pic would have you believe.

Ugly Timeline

2008-09-22T14:21:00.004-05:00

4:30 AM - Scout wakes up crying

4:35 AM - I wait for a few minutes before I go in there because sometimes she fusses a little then falls back to sleep on her own. I could tell she wasn't going to go back to sleep, so I go in to nurse her....which doesn't work. Much to my dismay, there is an hour of squirmy nursing, pinching, kicking, playing with toys, climbing all over me, and more nursing.

5:38 AM - I give up and let my cheerful and talkative toddler out of the room to wander the house while I make DH's lunch and fix us both something to eat. She eats some shredded wheat with milk and a piece of toast with homemade apple butter while I fight back tears of exhaustion (have I mentioned that she has been doing this for the last 3 or 4 days?)

7:15 AM - Scout starts doing the sign for nurse and saying "nigh-night" while rubbing her eyes. It takes me 15 minutes to nurse her back to sleep.

7:30 AM - I make some coffee and down 2 cups.

9:00 AM - Scout wakes up and is in a very good mood. Good. I'm glad someone is. We eat and play and horse around on the bed while watching Elmo's World and then play some more. I pop her in the stroller and take a very long walk around the neighborhood.

1:30 PM - Scout is yawning and wanting to nurse. I lay down with her and her blanky bear to nurse her to sleep. I try and try to get her to go to sleep to no avail.

2:00 PM - She is apparently not tired enough for a nap. I figure that she is probably hungry and start making her some lunch. She throws a fit when I try to strap her in her booster seat and starts doing the sign for nurse again. She does the sign for blanket and says "Nee nee" (which is what she has been calling her blanky bear). I take her back in to her room and she immediately runs from me when I put her down to nurse. I am about to scream and pull my hair out. I need her to sleep before I start crying. I put up the gate and leave the room. I hide in the kitchen while she screams and cries at the gate. I never do that, but I just had to escape the situation for a moment.

I sort of lost track of the time and chain of events after that. I know that I went back in her room after just a couple minutes and tried to get her to go to sleep AGAIN. When she got up and went to her toy box and started throwing toys at my head as I laid on her mattress in the fetal position, rocking back and forth and shaking (just kidding) I decided to leave the room again. This time, I shut the door and let her cry for about 5 minutes. They were sad and panicky cries. I felt so bad for doing it, but I could not take it anymore. I went back in and told her that she HAS to go to sleep and then I laid with her and nursed her.

At 2:53 PM, she is finally asleep. Great. Now she'll sleep until close to 5:00 and won't want to go to bed until 10. Then she'll be up again at 4:30 (for whatever reason) and we'll start the whole flippin' process all over again. Uuuughhh.

My little girl used to sleep. She used to like bedtime. I'm afraid that me leaving her in her room to scream for a few minutes when I am frustrated is probably not helping her enjoy bedtime any more. {sigh} Shame on me.

***ETA***

I was determined to get a little sleep while she napped, but had a hard time winding down. The last time I looked at the clock before I finally fell asleep it was 3:48 PM. She woke up at 4:07 PM. I feel so incredibly great now that I've had a restful 19 minute nap. < /sarcasm>

Extreme Home Makeover: Pig Sty Edition

2008-09-22T08:39:00.007-05:00

A friend of mine, who cleans houses for a living, gave me a gift certificate for one free house cleaning back in July for my birthday. She made me promise that I wouldn't be too shy to cash in on it and that she really loves to clean houses, so it would be a pleasure for her (and then I checked the back of her neck to see if there were any hinges, screws, or tentacles because I was sure at that point that she must be a robot or from another planet or something). Anyway, there weren't any tentacles or anything (that I could see) and I thanked her for her awesome gift!

Her hubby and I write music together on occasion and DH has also been wanting to collaborate with him when it comes to making music on the computer and recording stuff, etc so he was over one evening last week to play with DH's new Pro Tools/MBox thingamahoozit. Our house was a total embarrassing pit of refuse and I joked with him about how I would feel way too awful to have his wife come and clean for me. Then I got a text message from his wife telling me that she would love to come clean for me this Monday or Tuesday if it's okay. I had to giggle. I imagined her husband going home and telling her, "Honey, you have GOT to get over there. They need help. BAD!" Okay, I don't really know if he did that. Probably not. But I thought it was amusing that she texted me like 2 days after he had seen our vile house.

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So, we made a date for her to come over at 9:30 tomorrow morning. She wants to clean our ENTIRE HOUSE and she is planning to spend the whole day here. I am trying not to spaz out and be one of those people who clean before the cleaning lady comes. I've always thought that was silly and ridiculous, but now I can see why people do it. Not only is someone coming to clean my house, but that someone is my friend and she is doing it for free. I just don't want her to regret ever giving me that gift certificate and then going off and telling everyone what sloppy pigs we are. (not that she would do that, but still)

She wants me to make a list of the things that I want her to focus on the most.
Ummm....how 'bout the filth. That is all.

Scout and I need to make ourselves scarce while my house gets a makeover, and I'm not sure what to do. We are poor, so there aren't a whole lot of options. I don't live in an especially cultured area, so it's not like there are scads of museums and free attractions around here. I foresee that we will end up at the toddler play area at the mall, despite the fact that there are always big kids who exceed the height limit running around like crazed monkeys knocking into the sweet little babies and toddlers. The last time we were there, Scout sat in a puddle of pee in the middle of the big padded donut and I had to buy her some new pants at a nearby store. Yuck.

But it's free.

How could we?

2008-09-21T07:46:00.002-05:00

I'm more than a little upset about the ongoing disagreement DH and I have over our dog. I want to keep her. He wants to get rid of her.

Our dog is seriously one of the best dogs in the world. She practically potty trained herself. The only time she ever has accidents in the house is when she is really sick and can't help it. She is FANTASTIC with Scout. Scout adores her. She is a friendly and affectionate dog, but she also has a ferocious bark and is very protective of her family. Sure, she has taken a backseat since Scout was born, and we really don't spend time with her and play with her like we should, but I still enjoy her companionship and couldn't imagine our home without her.

DH says she is nothing but a liability. She serves no purpose. All she does is cost us money and we don't get anything in return. We spend money on dog food, keeping her up to date on shots, and occasionally getting her groomed. We recently realized that we've both been getting some little bug bites and are suspecting fleas. The groomer saw a few when she was bathed a couple weeks ago, but I think DH has only actually seen one in the house and when I search her white fur, I don't see any at all. Still, we need to take care of it. Anyway, we were discussing what we need to do about said fleas and came across some negative info on flea meds like Frontline and Advantage. We started Googling more natural options and before we got very far in our search, DH threw up his arms and started talking about getting rid of the dog again.....that it's stupid to have to spend money on flea treatments when he doesn't even know why we have a dog.

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You know, every single thing he says is factual. No, our dog does not give us any kind of monetary or material compensation. I suppose she is technically "worthless". Yes, sometimes we do have to spend money on her to keep her healthy (although it's not a very frequent occurrence - she's actually pretty low maintenance as far as pets are concerned, in my opinion). Yes, we do struggle financially and so I can see why it can be frustrating to DH on those rare occasions when we do have to shell out a little bit of money on the dog.

But the dog IS worth something to me. I spend a lot of time at home and therefore I spend a lot of time with the dog. She traveled with us out of state when DH was working long periods of time in Denver and Chicago. She has been with us for most of our marriage. I can't just toss her by the wayside. I can't just give her away. I know that she is not a human being, but in my mind she is a part of our family and I DO NOT WANT TO GET RID OF HER. I am frankly sick of hearing about how stupid it is for us to have her and how it only makes sense to get rid of her. I am tired of it. I will freakin' find a way to make some extra money in order to pay for her expenses if that's what it takes to end this debate. Some way, somehow. Heck, I will ask my parents for money and tell them that it's the only way I will be able to keep my dog.

DH and I don't have disagreements about things very often. I am telling the truth when I say that we fight and bicker a billion times less than most couples I know. But this topic seems to be a sore subject for the both of us and it just keeps popping up. I hate to say it, but there have been times when I've actually thought that he might take her somewhere or do something with her without my knowledge while I'm not looking. Oh gosh, I hope I'm way off-base with that idea.

Stuck on you

2008-09-20T07:43:00.001-05:00

Scout has become pretty clingy when around large groups of people. I can't say that I blame her. It would be very intimidating to be a tiny person with limited communication skills among a throng of loud strangers. This has been making our regular duties at church a little difficult lately. Scout used to let me hand her over to Pretend Grandma or any of the other sweet doting-grandma-type ladies at church when both DH and I need to be up on the platform with the band. Not so much anymore. It's Scream Fest '08 if I even WALK toward someone she knows used to watch her during the song service. Last Sunday she started pouting her bottom lip and tears began to well up in her eyes the moment we stepped into the sanctuary. I felt so bad for her. I'm very thankful that the leader of the praise and worship team doesn't mind me holding her while I sing. Although, I admit that I can see how having someone holding a toddler on stage during the song service could be a bit distracting to the worshipers and I wouldn't at all be offended if I was asked not to do that anymore. At that point, I would tell the leader of the band that I can't come up on the stage to sing until I get her calmed down and settled in with whomever is watching her. He would definitely understand, but we are already a little short on singers, so my presence is MUCH appreciated.

There have been times when I have handed Scout over to a friend right before the song service even though she was screaming bloody murder. Everyone says that once I am out of her sight and she is outside watching the big kids play or in the nursery playing with the toys, the tears dry up and she is her old chipper self again. She ends up enjoying herself much more than if she would've stayed Velcroed (is that a word?) to my neck. My mommy instincts seem to always tell me when it's NOT okay to hand her over and let her cry. Sometimes I just feel like she needs me. But honestly, sometimes I hand her over while she's crying and I don't have any reservations doing it - like I just know when she's going to be fine once she's distracted and can't see me anymore.

So, what do you think? Do you think it is cruel to make her go through that initial bout of crying and being upset even though she usually does fine once she's away from me? Most of the people at my church are in the "She's gotta learn to be without mommy /let her cry" camp. I have some other friends who are in the "never do anything to make a child upset / you must always respect the child's feelings" camp.

I see the benefit and need for both approaches. I'd say that I'm somewhere in the middle of the two camps. (I know that some of you are probably gasping in horror right now) I feel like I am very tuned in to what Scout needs. I do my absolute best to try and understand what's going on in that little brain of hers and I make it my job to help her understand what's going on in this crazy big world around her. I do try to be sensitive to her feelings and know that her emotions are very really and shouldn't be ignored or belittled.

My blood boils (okay, well maybe it doesn't boil - it just kinda simmers) when a well-meaning friend jokingly says "Aww - suck it up and quit your cryin'" or "That sounds totally fake. We're onto you!" to Scout when she is upset. I know they're just poking fun and kidding around, but I also think that deep down they really believe what they're saying and that makes me mad. How would THEY like it if they were obviously upset and crying about something and I went up to them and told them to suck it up or that they're faking it - even jokingly?

And the flipside? While I firmly believe that children are people too and we need to respect their feelings, sometimes I think it is necessary to do things as parents that might not make our children especially happy. Because we're their parents and we have life experience and knowledge that they don't possess. It's so tough sometimes to find a balance....to be gentle and somewhat accommodating, while also trying to give boundaries and making the tough decisions

This is a stupid example but it comes to mind first because it is an issue I deal with daily here in the Unkempt Family household. Scout will eat an infinite amount of raisins and prunes if I let her. I'm sure she would keep eating them until she was doubled over with the monster of all belly-aches and diarrhea that is too explosive for any diaper on this earth to contain. It's my job as her mommy to cut her off when I feel like she's had her limit. Does she get the most heartbroken look on her face which is followed with a meltdown of epic proportions when I stop tossing fistfuls of dried fruit into her snack bowl and then try to explain to her that she can have some more later? Yes. But it must be done.

Maybe comparing her love affair with raisins with her desire to become my own human necklace on Sunday mornings is a little silly - but maybe it isn't. I swear, sometimes she screams harder when the raisins are gone than she does when I walk up on the stage and pick up my microphone.

17 Months

2008-09-19T07:19:00.005-05:00

I always forget to do birthday posts for Scout, but for some reason, I remembered that she is 17 months old today. This is at such a fun and exciting (yet somewhat challenging) age! In the last few weeks she has learned so many new words:

Glasses - "slassy"
Raining - "mingning"
Doggy - she says this one perfectly now - it used to just be "Dah!"
Truck - "cock" (tee hee :)
Outside - "side"
Socks - "soss"
Eat - another one she says perfectly.
Keys - sounds alot like "cheese"
Pee-U - "pay-oh!"
I see you - sounds a lot like "see ya"
Owl - "ow"
Toes - "towel"
Nose - "no"
No-no - "now-now"
Bug - "bope"

Words already in her vocabulary were: mommy, daddy, home, nigh-night, hi, bye-bye, baby, cheese, peepee, potty (pronounced "pah-pah"), cereal, hat, ball, hot, see ya, mouth, and eye

She does repeat words/sounds sometimes without knowing the meaning and then she'll never say it again, so I don't count those words. When I read the Dr. Seuss book Hop on Pop to her, she repeats me when I say "hop", "pop", "pup", and "up"...but otherwise, she doesn't say those words on her own.

She puts a few words together, like: "Daddy home?", "Daddy bye-bye?" and "Bad dog!"

She's still signing, but we haven't taught her any new signs lately...I suppose just out of laziness. She knows: potty, eat, drink, more, bath, diaper change, cereal, daddy, (never does the sign for mommy for some reason), nurse, milk, water, ball, and play.

Scout's been having some pretty horrific tantrums, but I hear that's common around this age. Her fits usually don't last long and most of the time it's fairly easy to distract her from whatever she was screaming about with something else.

She's pretty headstrong and will fight for what she wants...at least when it comes to the things that she shouldn't have and I'm trying to take away from her. Something feels so silly and comical about wrestling a toddler to the ground, trying to pry an open tube of lip gloss from her white-knuckled fist. And yet scenes like that happen around here all the time. It's funny though, when she's playing with other kids she is much more passive and usually won't put up much of a fight if another child tries to take what she is playing with. Go figure.

She can also be very affectionate and sweet. We get hugs and kisses from her all the time (okay, well sometimes we have to coax her) and it melts my heart.

Car rides and errands have become a breeze with her. She was a total car seat hater during the first year of her life, but now she doesn't seem to mind it. She happily rides in the stroller and shopping cart for long periods of time about 80% of the time.

She nurses about 4-5 times in a 24 hour period: when she gets up in the morning, when she goes down for her nap, when she's up from her nap, and when she goes to bed. Sometimes she gets up once (or twice - but that's VERY unusual) in the middle of the night and needs me to nurse her back to sleep.

Something that's been on my mind a lot is how we're going to transition into falling asleep without nursing. I'm not sure when this should happen and how to go about doing it. Today, I was thinking that now might be a good time to take steps in that direction because she carried around a "My Banky" bear (that she had never shown much interest in before) all morning, hugging it and rubbing her face all over it. She kept wanting me to spread it out on her back, then she would say "Nigh-night", and I would rub her back while she batted her sleepy eyes and sighed. I nursed her down for a nap shortly after that while she had her blankie clutched tightly in her fists. If this new found fondness for this blankie continues, I'm wondering if it would be smart for me to take this as an opportunity to transition her from nursing to sleep to snuggling with her blankie.

I am surprised I am even typing those words right now. I have always had a very relaxed attitude toward the idea of weaning and thought that she'd be a lot older before I started tossing around the idea of night-weaning her. I don't want to wean her altogether. But for some reason, I just have it in my mind that we need to start moving towards getting her to sleep without nursing.

That said, if I start trying it and she flips out and is not willing to let her blankie replace nursing while falling asleep, I don't think I could push it. I don't think I could force anything. I want it to be as slow and natural as possible. I guess we'll see.

Anyway, Happy 17 Months to you, my sweet little girl! It's been the best 17 months of my entire life.

Wordless....Thursday?

2008-09-18T11:00:00.002-05:00